Confused. Am I gay/bi?

I think that you have to truly know for yourself, and people can't help you with that, but you could try going to a gay bar or something and attempt to date a guy. Sometimes the easiest way is to try it out. If you are worried about other people finding out you could go to the next town over or something maybe?

 

Well i knew i was Gay once i stoped dening it.
Cause i always had dreams about many penises. They were always such
happly dreams.
I too enjoy the shemale porn and gay porn.
But it's me imaging that i am that lucky guy gettig all the dick.
Your must likely not as gay as i am cause women don't even
make mine get hard couldn't even try that if she wanted me too.
Is thinking about what you want to do to want a man has in his pants
with ya tongue and mougt a happly thought. it is indeed for me.

 

Based on what you've written you are certainly finding watching depictions of gay sex to be a turn on. I suppose the question then becomes do you feel any sort of sexual attraction to guys in the real world? Not the question of whether you should or not but whether you actually do at a gut level (or lower I suppose)

Do you find yourself checking out guys when out in public? Do you fantasize about doing stuff with guys while masturbating without porn? For that matter, when watching gay porn how are you relating to the action on the screen? Do you imagine yourself taking part in what is going on on the screen or something else?

It's possible you are bi-sexual or at least bi-curious, possibly leaning more toward women. This based on what you've written so far. Depending on your responses to the questions above, you might find more clarification on this point.

Hope this helps,

Todd

 

I think you would "know" if you felt sexual attraction towards guys in public. Porn can distort reality and may make you confused. You could try to hook up with a guy and see what it is like. I would not advise dating one. Someone could get hurt if you figure out you're not even gay or bi.

 

Why force the issue of putting a label on yourself?

I suggest you date some women and date some men and see where it comfortably and naturally leads.

That should eventually give you the best answer to your question. It's not fast, but its authentic.

 

Porn is not the real world. It is fantasy. You cannot lead your real life based solely on your response to porn. Forget porn for a while. (I know, easier said than done, but believe me when I tell you it will help you clarify this issue.) Some of your responses may be due to an overabundance of hormones causing you to react to anything sexual.

So, if you don't want to date a guy, throw your energy into a relationship with a woman. Explore your emotional, physical, intellectual and spiritual nature with her. Decide based on that. It's real. It will be what's really you. Forget porn.

 

Have you tried to simply masturbate without porn, while thinking about a guy? Try to pick out a subject, whether an actor, a movie character, the guy in the liquor shop, someone who you have seen, who you could say is good-looking, try picturing a scenario where the two of you get together. If it feels a bit disturbing to you, because the thought of actually being with a guy makes you nervous or stressed, picture yourself having a mask on, or him being blindfolded. Try to notice the shape of his body, little things, and just play around in the scenario. Try to release all stress and push away the big "Am I gay/bi?" out of your head, so that you can be free to check it out if this does anything for you.

Maybe you are bi, maybe you cannot picture being with one, because you have all this stress and confusion connected to it. It`s hard to tell, and only you can know. It might simply be that you have fantasies connected to being with a man, or the thought of it turns you on, without you actually being bisexual, or at least in a very small degree. I mean, I watch gay porn, and I am a lesbian, who gets absolutely nothing from a real life penis. Actually, I cannot stand them. But gay porn still is more interesting to me than lesbian porn at times. At least the kind I have seen.

I think that until you have explored it further, either physically or emotionally/mentally, it is pretty impossible to say. I think your fear might be holding you back a bit, but I don`t really know enough, and I don`t think you do quite yet either, which is very natural and normal when we are questioning. Some enter a period of questioning and come out of it with a straight (pun intented) answer one way or the other, others stay in that period for a long time, some never find the answer and pushes it away, but it`s normal to question it, even some people who come to the conclusion that they are in fact straight, have had a phase of questioning. If we don`t explore it, it can nag us for a long time, and you might miss out on something special.

*hugs!'

 

Hi,

I do support you exploring your sexuality, but finding a healthy relationship in; a) gay bar, b) online dating are very low. You will primarily find sex hook-ups there. These do not reflect what a gay relationship truly is.

Find gay organizations that pursue, hiking, sports, hobbies, etc in your area.

That is where you will be more likely to find a relationship.

Stuck

 

Ok, so this AM a notion occurred:

You say that when you're horny you can watch gay porn or think about having sex with a guy but that thinking about dating a guy makes you uncomfortable.

You've also said earlier that you started with straight porn and then transitioned over to gay porn, basically finding that the experience/pleasure/orgasms were more intense with each new type.

Is it possible that you are in fact 'curious', not in the sense of potentially being gay or bisexual (terms which currently carry a certain amount of emotional 'weight' with them in our culture) but rather in the sense of just (at some level) wondering what the actual act of sex with a guy would feel like and if it would feel better/different-but-still-good from sex with a woman?

There's a certain sort of 'mystique' around this idea floating around out there already with the notion that a gay guy can give better oral sex than a woman or knows better than a woman what will feel good to another guy since they have the same 'equipment' and so on.

Beyond that (and now looking at the straight world), pretty much the entire sexy lingerie/sex toy industry is built on the idea that there is more than one path to orgasm and that different paths can lead to different experiences, some better, some just different but fun to travel down sometimes.

I would be quite confident that virtually every person here has or has tried different masturbation techniques, whether to try something new or to have a specific type of experience associated with a specific technique and/or their circumstances at the time.

Getting back to your situation, you've already indicated a certain willingness to try new things when it comes to masturbation. Could it be that you've now reached the point where some part of you is basically looking at gay porn, noting that the people in it seem to be having a good time (and that you're having a good time watching) and is wondering about taking things to 'the next level'?

If this is the case, then the issue becomes if and how you want to explore this to the point of actually doing something with another guy. This needn't involve dating (with the various emotional connotations that go with it) but would probably need to involve something more than a random hookup since the other person would need to know your situation and lack of experience and be willing to work with you to explore.

If you were to then find you really liked it, then it would be time to get back to discussions about what your orientation actually is and what sorts of relationships you might be open to (dating is only one option).

Assuming I'm not just building castles in the air here of course

Anyway - does this idea maybe seem like it might better deal with your situation?

Todd

 

It's possible that you've switched to T-porn, and then gay porn, simply as a way to keep the excitement level up. Some people who watch a lot of porn start finding that the stuff that used to turn them on doesn't really do it much anymore...so they tend to look for something with a higher "turn-on" factor. That often means watching more "extreme" forms of porn - bondage or other kinks. And for some, that means watching gay porn, because they equate it to something "naughty" that they would never actually do. hat doesn't mean everybody who moves from straight to gay porn is really just straight. I don't get much sense from your post that you got bored of straight porn, really - just that you found gay porn more appealing.

What would I suggest? Turn the porn off for awhile. Stick with your imagination. Think about anything that gets your motor running. If it's a woman, great. If it's a man, killer. If it's both, a famous person, a stranger, a werewolf, a robot - enjoy it. Eventually, you'll start seeing some patterns emerging.

Lex

 

Being new here i have been struck by how many people seem to be on a desperate search to know themselves totally and completely immediately. Maybe I am different in that I like to just take things as they come. I welcome new experiences as part of the pathway to knowing myself. These are interesting things that you are pondering, but why rush it? If you find yourself to be curious about these things, I imagine that will further unfold as you meet people of that orientation, or you could seek them out. I think at that point when it comes to be more realistic in your life, you will form more feelings on a personal basis. After all, it should be about the person you are with, not just their genitals, right ?

 

Well stated!

 

I think you are straight or at least very close to being straight. A lot of times your taste in porn does not reflect your sexual orientation. I am mostly attracted to girls, but I hate lesbian porn and I get turned on by gay porn. I think you have HOCD.

 

Hey Lexington, I have a question. Sorry to hijack the thread, but it might be related. Like confused, I always thought of myself as straight, based on attractions, arousals, crushes, etc. Recently, since I have a fulfilling sexual life with my girlfriend and I'm living on my own with her, I've begun to fantasize about guys for the first time of my life. Like the gay/bi side came out of me. Is it possible, that even without porn, we can get tired of the same old thing, and want to switch over to something more kinky, like being gay? So maybe I had a latent bi-side, and now it's coming out? I understand that the brain likes novelty, and if I know myself well enough, I'll almost never travel to the same place twice (usually), cook the same meal twice (usually), and things along those lines. That maybe I'm seeking something new and exciting, since I only live once? Which kinda contradicts with the whole being straight, crushing on girls, and living in a monogamous, straight relationship. Because I was like confused, and then the fantasy turned to a more real-life experience, once I had enough porn, sex, etc.