Hello everyone. So, first and foremost I'll give some background. 22 year old male here who is unquestionably bisexual. I'm just curious as to what my preference may be (if there is one). Anyway, I guess I'll just jump right into it.Basically, my sexual preferences have changed so much over time it has been really stressful. In my younger years (I'd say... age like 11-17) I was into this fantasy of chubs/gainers and had always dreamed of getting super fat and having some other guy stuff me into an oblivion. And that is basically IT. Regular gay porn never interested me. Regular straight porn never interested me. Basically, the penises and vaginas didn't do shit. But in late highschool I started to grow out of this a little bit and started to slowly transition to gay porn (I'm assuming because the chub community is essentially a gay community). I liked it, it turned me on. So basically, I had discovered a new dimension of my sexuality... Then I got a girlfriend in late highschool. I really, really liked her and thought she was very hot... which was new for me. Whenever we'd make out I'd get extremely horny and was always trying to do more with her (she would never let me, unfortunately). However, during this I also realized how attracted I am to women. She broke up with me when we split for college and I remember that being a very weird feeling. Anyway, onto college where things really started to get confusing. Like I've said, I may not be OUT as a bisexual, but I definitely know that I am. So basically freshman year I am with this girl on and off for like 7-8 months. I am also very much into her, sexually attracted to her, everything. It ends, whatever... I wasn't too upset. I started to get really curious after my freshman year and found a guy online to meet up with. This was overall a bad experience. I knew it would probably be this way, it was ONLY about the hookup. We didn't even try to get to know each other at all. Basically, we just jerked each other off. I tried to give him head but I stopped really quickly because it turned me off. So, I dialed in really quickly and let him jerk me off until I got my nut. I don't quite remember because I was super drunk, but I don't think I came very much. Anyway, moving on. My second year in college I have a legitimate sexual relationship with this new girlfriend. We had sex relatively often and I loved it. I loved her body, her breasts. Visually she really turned me on, but what I really loved about her was how cool she was. Unlike never before I really felt like I was in a trusting relationship with her. But after awhile I had to break it off. So the end of that. Very sad. Anyway, junior and senior roll by with a number of different sexual experiences with women. Very few of them bad, but I do start to notice a trend. They girls that I actually 'like' really turn me on much more than those who I'm just there for physically. My porn habits from my junior year until now have been about the same. I watch both gay and straight porn. When I watch gay porn I pretty much just focus on muscles/big dick... I usually skip past the kissing and fucking parts. Not for me. As for straight porn, I like to watch it all the way through. I enjoy the intimacy of it. While I usually prefer gay porn as a quick outlet to get my rocks off, I almost ALWAYS have more intense orgasms to straight porn/fantasies. Which brings me to my next point. About a week ago I experimented with another guy because the first time just wasn't under great circumstances. I met this guy online. I thought he was perfect. My age, went to a great school, very attractive, big dick. Basically... I don't know but I was SO excited to meet up with him. And I did and it wasn't what I had expected. Kissing him didn't give me that intense body rush. Prior to meeting up with him I had been loving the idea of sucking his dick. But when I sucked it in real life I had to stop! It was a huge turn off! I WAS EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED. My erection was all over the place. There were points where I had to think of tits to get it back up. But I am working if this is only because I was... nervous about hooking up with a guy? I just don't want to be missing out on something great because of underlying factors! I think we are going to meet up again, but when I fantasize about us hooking up I can't even get an erection. What do you guys think? My suspicion is that I am bisexual with perhaps a slight heterosexual leaning but I would love to get opinions! Thanks guys!
The thing about human nature is that it is extremely complicated. And by this logic, so too is sexuality. But I think you get that. So there are not just three subgroups: straight, gay and bisexual. You can experience varying levels of attraction anywhere in between. Listening to what you're describing, I think you only have a slight attraction to men, and maybe you like the idea of being bisexual and you're trying to convince yourself that you are. You don't like the fucking parts of gay porn. You've experienced significant arousal problems both times you've hooked up with guys. I don't see the evidence that suggested that you have almost equal attraction to men and women. And there is no evidence that you're emotionally attracted to men at all. On the other hand, women seem to completely turn you on, and you are even more turned on when you actually like the woman. Sounds pretty straight to me. So bisexual with a slight heterosexual leaning? Not a chance. I'd say you are mostly straight with a homosexual leaning. Maybe it's 90% straight, 10% gay. Given what you've described, there is absolutely no evidence that it's any more than the 10%. It sounds like you are enamoured with the concept of bisexuality. What do you think?
To me it sounds like your sexuality is just tied to having an emotional connection. When you just try and take the sex act alone, it either isn't fulfilling or the pleasure is fleeting.
It could be that you're effectively straight and just a little bi-curious, or that your experiences with men have been purely physical without the intimate connection. Maybe try and get to know a guy better first before starting anything physical. Try a date or two...?
