basically, over the last year or so iv seemingly flipped a lot in my mind between identifying as being gay and bi, straight porn is fine but i find myself looking at the guy more but then gay porn doesn't seem as...effective, im really attracted to some guys and somewhat attracted to girls but iv had girlfriends in the past and they have ended because i lost interest and just didn't make the effort to go see them etc. iv never had a bf, im currently struggling with coming out to family as gay, iv come out to friends and they were fine with it but i don't think my family will be as accepting, and then i feel it is like set in stone that im gay and i don't know if i am ready to do that yet, i mean i have been straight for around 15 years of my life without ever even doubting it before this year, maybe i will switch back to being straight someday? also although iv admitted to myself that i am gay or at least bi it doesn't seem as simple as that? it feels like i have sum sort of mental block in my mind about it and i cant sleep at night just from thinking about it so basically what im asking for is what should i do? am i just subconsciously trying to make myself straight or what, either way i can't continue like this with no sleep as its at the point that i have to miss days of work frequently just to sleep more!
STRAIGHT. Why? GAY? GAY? Why not? Afraid of being labeled as 'gay'? Afraid of being gay? Or not yet sure if bisexual? Perhaps both. Perhaps the news that you are GAY or BISEXUAL is so shocking for you that you try to keep it at a distance by constantly moving it around in your head and asking the same questions without finding the answer that stops this process. STATE OF DEPRESSION. I don't find your situation complicated. You think too much about abstract things and not enough about persons. Who should be your next lover, or whatever you are looking for? Now it is time to explore men or women. It seems that you prefer men for the moment, because they are the new aspect for you. You should definitely do that. Is it really important whether you label yourself bisexual or gay? You use the same dating sites, the same bars etc. There is no need to announce a gay identity if you don't have any experience and don't know whether that is what you are looking for. When you had a joyful time with men and still miss something you should continue your exploration of the female world. Of course, you can switch once per hour, if you want that! :icon_wink From my point of view humans can enjoy both sexes, if they don't find out the contrary. You are afraid of homosexuality because you know that it is suppressed by society. But you are curious, so you must learn to free yourself from the norms that you have not created. There is no reason to fee guilty etc. I think you should call yourself BISEXUAL in the next time because that is the easiest way for you, and only there where it is necessary. Among gays you should not make much noise about bisexuality because nobody will be thankful for that. You are aways the SAME, no matter which sexual activities you perform. So you don't change from this to that and back. You are the same, but you do slightly different thins. Like eating strawberries on one day and raspberries. Your taste didn't change, you like both, it is just that on some days you prefer raspberry. If you are happy with one flavour life is even easier, because you don't have to think and synchronize so much. Good luck!
