I need help figuring this out. I don't really know what to do

I just admitted I am attracted to women emotionally and physically in the past 2 years...I just in the last month decided I never was really attracted to men. But I also have only been with guys and all your thoughts sound just like mine

I don't like lesbian porn from what I have seen but movies like Room in Rome and Eloise's Lover(that one is about an artist who draws this girl...the ending is sad and seems typical of Puritan movies where the girl gets punished for having sex...so cliche)....those sex scenes are hot and make me think things will develop naturally so I just need to be myself.

 

Yep, same here as well. You aren't alone, I can assure you of that. It's scarey at my age to be completely inexperienced at sex, I mean, like you, I know exactly what to do to please a man, even though it's never pleased me. I suppose I'll pick it up quick enough. I liken it, because I like metaphores, to, going into somebody elses house, that is exactly the same design as yours. Everything is in roughly the same place but I don't know how to work anything. The only thing I can say, and that I tell myself if, that is I could learn to please a man, even though I wasn't really into it, then I could probably learn to please a woman when I will be into it.

The thing that does worry me however, is, I imagine that women would be more judgemental about other women than a man would be about a woman. I have absolutely no idea if this is the case or not, but it does make me very anxious.

---------- Post added 2nd Mar 2013 at 03:07 AM ----------

I'd just like to put a disclaimer on my last post: I have used the house thing as a metaphor before, even though this time I have addressed it as a simile. I just thought I'd better clear that up.

 

I've thought of this issue, myself. I have a same sex attraction at work. Yet, I have zero experience. Making matters more "fun", I'm about 40, and like LoveMusicPoetry said above, inexperience is scary above a certain age. Particularly in our current culture.

More than once, I have wished I'd had at least some experience as a teenager. At least "fooling around" with a friend on a sleepover. But that never happened, and at that time, I'd have been scared if anything did happen.

The one saving grace for me now is this: I think I'd be better suited for serious relationships. Maybe I'm deluding myself, but I think there would be more tolerance for inexperience in a long term relationship. At least, I know I'd be tolerant, since I'd be investing in the long term, not the short term. Meanwhile, a casual one night hookup from Craigslist is less likely to tolerant. That hookup wants a hot night, and won't even remember your name the next day.

Another thought: we aren't the only ones facing this. I belong to another forum that has a huge percentage of gays. In fact, I pretty much assume any guy posting there is gay until I hear about a wife or girlfriend! At least one person was older than I am when he realized that his straight marriage had been a sham.

 

I am totally there right now! I know that I want physical intimacy with another woman, but have little idea what to do. I don't know if I could even have an orgasm. All that I've been able to figure out I have gotten from songs (Jen Foster- I didn't just kiss her,etc), or from YouTube(totally reliable right?....not) A lesbian friend confidant of mine, has told me that I'll "figure it out...we all do". So I guess it's more of a practicum than a book study kind of thing. Go with the flow....I know that probably doesn't help much, but know that you are not alone....

 

Lol, I could so relate to your post! The whole being attracted to girls, but not knowing how to act with them. Flirting with guys are easy! Single straight guys are the easiest thing in the world, in my opinion. You don`t even need to make an effort. Flirting with women is a bit of an art :icon_wink Sometimes! I don`t mean to generalize, that`s just my experience. People are always different.

Being scared of intimate connection, flirting, having trouble being yourself is completely normal whether you are gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual, you name it! It doesn`t mean you are not gay, it simply mean you are inexperienced in the area of being with women. We are all inexperienced until we gain experience, which can be nerve-wrecking! Not knowing what to do is normal even when you have gotten a couple of months into a relationship, often because every girl is different.

An example, I have actually average amount of experience, yet first time with my GF, I couldn`t find her clitoris, and had to go down there searching. She laughed her ass off, and I was a complete mess :icon_wink We look different, down there, so something that should have been so easy for me, actually turned out really embarrassing. But I got 4+ for effort and found the darned thing eventually. So, it doesn`t matter if you have some experience, it will still always be a bit awkward at first, and you`ll fumble a bit and the dream of being Miss Casanova seems to fly off with libresse! But that`s okay, the other person is guaranteed as nervous as you are! My GF told me I gave off this uber-confident aura that made her feel really inexperienced and awkward. Which was funny, because I felt like I was wiggling with nervousness. So, don`t just assume the other chick knows exactly what she is doing and is confident as hell, because that is rarely the case

And I get that it gets extra scary when you don`t know if you`ll like it, but try to accept that fear a bit. Intimacy is a scary thing. I mean, that`s why they call it intimate. And the worst thing that can happen is that you try it, and find it`s not for you. It won`t be a disaster, it won`t mess up the other person for life. Be honest about being inexperienced and not too confident, and it will be okay.

Better to try and know, than not try and always wonder You could miss out on something really good, if you don`t dare to try.

(*hug*)

 

Yay! Keep us posted...if you don't mind hehe