What do you do if your sexual/romantic attractions don't match?

This has been a been an issue for me for a while. I've only ever dated one guy, no women, although for four years of highschool I had this MAJOR crush on one of my female classmates.

So I know I'm sexually/physically attracted to men, although from my one bf I can't say I've had deep emotional connections with men. The opposite is true of women; I've never dated a woman, but I've developed deep emotional connections to women through friendship, and can appreciate women aesthetically, and even have preferences. But the idea of sex with women, either oral or with toys, doesn't appeal to me.

It's left me in an awkward place. Am I actually attracted to women, or am I just confusing emotional fondness for women? And if I actually am attracted to women, how would I be able to be in a relationship with another woman where we could both have our needs met? Would it be easier to just continue to identify as straight?

 

I felt exactly the same when I first became attracted to a woman at the age of 22. Remember when you had your first boy crush? You didn't imagine having sex or performing oral; you imagined kissing him. It's the same thing here. It's new and you are like that innocent child having stirrings of attractions. You might simply be curious but you could also be bi or even lesbian. Only time will tell.

 

Thank you, that's a very good point

 

How's your situation coming along? Well, i hope

 

Omg that's my situation !!! I'm sexually and physically attracted to guys but females I can forge a friendship and understanding with ! I'm only 19btw lol or posßihly I'm grey ace or Demi sexual lol

 

The Squirrels,

Do I ever identify with you! In fact, I just posted something about that...before reading your post. I get a very deep, emotional closeness with women....the kind where I would love nothing more than to lay with them and snuggle...

I had one new friend several years ago talk to me about her suspicions of me being gay, because I'm so huggy/touchy. She was very straight forward in her thinking and talking like that.... and we eventually let our friendship go...but definitely not over that comment!

Perhaps I'm overly affectionate, I don't know. I will walk up to someone and put my arm around them, hug those I appreciate, even if I see them every day, etc etc.

So sure, lots of people claim to know who or what I am, but I don't....ugh.