I'm 23. I've known I liked both men and women since I was probably about 13. My brother came out gay when I was about 15. I have dated a few women and a few men. I've never actually got physically involved with a woman. Things just didn't go well to get that far. But I have been with a few men, and I haven't enjoyed it. I am always attracted to women, always turned on by them. But with men, it's harder to get turned on. I've always been afraid to explore in to this because of how people treated my brother when he first came out. People know I am attracted to women. And I'm just not really sure if I like men too or if I'm just gay. When I mention this to a woman I'm interested in, they stop talking to me. So I'm trying here, hoping someone can help me shed a little light.
Yeah, unfortunately bisexuals experience often that a lot of lesbian discriminate against them, thinking somehow bisexuality makes you less trustworthy as a partner because you might suddenly fall for a guy instead. It is really lame! I would advice against saying you are bisexual, when you meet a woman you are interested in, and simply say you like women. If they press the matter, you can say you prefer women. Which is the truth, if I am reading this right. Not all lesbians are like that though, some of us recognize that the possibility for a GF leaving you for someone else is always there, whether the person is bisexual, omnisexual, pansexual or a lesbian. And being bisexual is not the same as being promiscuous, something some lesbians also seem to think. If they stop talking to you because they are straight and get scared off, then it`s not much to be done with. It could be you need to do like I did, look outside the more "enclosed lesbian communities", and search in new arenas. Small groups of lesbians can be somewhat.. restricted. At least that is my experience. Do they have LGBT youth groups, or LGBT organizations in your area? Someone to arrange activities, discuss LGBT politics or something like that? That is a great arena to meet like-minded, tolerant women, when the group is a bit more mixed. That`s really all the advice I have, I think. *Hugs!*
I honestly don't even want to have sex with a man. My straight relationships have only lasted months at most. And even more honestly, I was pushed into having sex my first time, so who's to know if I would have ever been with a man. I'm just lost and confused because legitimately I've never been in love with a man. My first kiss was with a girl, I was 8. I didn't know what I was doing, but we stripped down and just kissed and touched each other. I never saw her again. But I fell in love with my best friend in high school.
Hi there and welcome to EC. You've come to the right place! This is a complex and often confusing issue. There aren't any simple answers, and often only time and experience will tell us what the final answer is. To be attractive to other people you need to be comfortable in your own skin and really OK with your orientation. If you're not there, you might be sending 'vibes' out that tell people that. The best thing to do is to get more comfortable with the concept of being gay or bi, and that way when you do meet other women you'll present a far more positive and confident image. That might help. So hang out here, and write about your thoughts, concerns, fears... there's likely someone else around who is in the same boat - or was.
Well, I've talked about this complex issue with various people. My mother reminded me that at the ripe age of 12 I told her I think I like girls, my best friend (whom is gay and I've known my whole life) as well as my aunt said they always thought I was... So now I've been advised to get out and explore. And I have a friend who is willing to help me with that. But now the question is, if I am, and I've been questioning for a long time, why have I spent so many years trying to be someone I'm not? How didn't I know sooner? My brother knew at an early age. I tried talking to my brother about this but all he had to say was I needed to stop trying to be like him. I'm nit trying to be like anyone, just me. I'm just nit sure how to find out who that is.
