Hey there, It's been a while again since my last post, but things have been somewhat going better. I have been trying to come to terms with my sexuality, whatever it may end up being. Each day and every other second my head constantly repeats the words "bi, bi, bi" or "gay". So instead of letting my head repeat I try to say to myself "I'm gay and it's ok". Some days are depressing, others are great. Whether things end up that way in the end or not, I know that I cannot keep on going without trying a relationship with the same-sex. Yes I am attracted to women, but yes I am also attracted to men. I feel that if I don't try a relationship with a man, then I won't know where my true self lies emotionally and physically. I've thought of playing both sides of the fence, but overall I feel like that will just make things more confusing. In the past year, to help me with the process I started working out with my gay friend who I've known all throughout University. I have also joined a, pretty much, all gay rugby team to feel more comfortable around other men. I'm not sure if I'll play rugby during the summer though because the sport it absolutely insane! Things that bother me right now are: How do I find a relationship with a guy where I can take things slow enough to learn how I feel about being with the same-sex? and What do I tell my immediate family? I've already expressed some feelings for the same-sex with my family members. It's not that I am afraid to come out to them. It's more that I'm worried I say, "hey! I'm tolly gay!", but then a couple years later be like "well I guess it wasn't for me!". Recently, I realized that I have been taking my frustration out on my family, but it's not their fault and they don't deserve it. It's not a healthy way to vent, that's for sure. If anything I want to bring my family closer together even though it is a complete disaster zone! hah Sorry for the long post. If you read through it all, then thank you for listening. I think I use this site more as a personal journal now and it's good to read about other people in similar situations. Thoughts and advice always welcome.
Hi there. Welcome back. I'm not sure there's any silver bullet in terms of getting into a relationship with another guy. It's the same as getting into a relationship with someone of the oposite sex. The challenge, of course, is knowing what guys would be interested in a same sex relationship. Being out - in some way - is helpful. Participating in activities where other gay and bi guys will be there is good. You've got a gay friend - have you shared these thoughts with him? Could he introduce you to other friends? Take it slow and just get used to the idea that you might be bi or gay. The more comfortable you are with that the more comfortable you'll be with other people.
Jim1454 has given you some very good advice. The best bit is to take things slowly and not rush into things. One possibility of meeting other gay men is through social situations like your gay rugby team but you could also try dating sites like gaydar or ####### (am I allowed to give these names?) The main thing is that you become comfortable with who you are and it does not matter if that is gay or bi.
Hey there, Thank you for the advice Jim and maplecross. My friend is the one who had invited me onto the team and I've been talking to him looking for advice or comfort. He doesn't push me into anything and the advice he gives is pretty sound. I haven't asked him to introduce me to anyone yet but that's another good idea. I don't think you're supposed to post dating sites maplecross, but thnks for the suggestion! Thanks again!
You never know where or how you will meet someone wonderful, so it's great that you are socially active and being true to yourself. I hope the right guy comes along for you soon
clear, there are days I feel like bi, bi, bi, gay. Sometimes I modify a song from Avenue Q to go like this: "If I were gay, that'd be okay..." It makes me feel better. I've watched rugby. It looks brutal!
