I'm questioning myself. I considered myself to be straight, had a boyfriend of three years and we eventually broke up for reasons beside my sexual orientation. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I believe I could be bisexual. How do I tell? And how do I put myself out there as questioning to any potential partners? I'm 20, I live at home and work several part-time jobs. I'm not around many people my age and it's frustrating because at this point there's nobody I'm seriously interested in relationship wise and even if I were, they'd most likely be in another relationship. I guess I'm also wondering HOW do I meet people? I was homeschooled, didn't have a lot of friends and those I had are now off at college. When I was an early teenager I entertained the possibility of being a lesbian for several reasons: I was disgusted by boys and men and couldn't see myself being with one of them. I also had a crush on my swim coach at the time who was (I think) 8 years older than me and female. Once I reached my mid teens I started to be attracted to movie stars and would fantasize about them. I developed a crush on a boy several years older than myself and we struck up a friendship that ended up being a relationship I was in for almost three years. He was very different than I and we broke up at the end of last summer. Now I'm single and wonder if I'm really straight. I think I'm bisexual and maybe lean towards being straight but I don't know; I haven't had any lesbian experiences. I now find myself attracted to both men and women, but the women more so after I've thought about it - at the time I don't think "oh I'm attracted to her" I think "oh she's pretty". With men I often find their bodies attractive right away but think they're probably jerks. I think it's because the society I've been brought up in is mainly straight couples and I just never really thought of women as being potential partners. Any thoughts or advice? I live in a very small town and don't know exactly how to get out there and meet either men or women. I'd love to experience a lesbian relationship to see what I've missed out so far but I don't want to seem as though it's all a game to me because it's not. It's a serious thing and even if it's taken lightly it's not something to do on a whim. Sorry to have rambled on in strange threads of thought, but I'm definitely confused and would love to see what you think.
You shouldn't go into a lesbian relationship until you're sure of your sexuality. Because if it turns out you are straight, that's going to be hard for you to explain. You don't need 'Lesbian experience' to know if you like girls. It's kind of how straight people don't need experience with the opposite sex to know they're straight. They just kind of know. There are several possibilities here. You could just be curious, like most women are. There are two things that can help you figure out your sexuality; First is the initial attraction to women. Any woman can tell when another woman is attractive. But being attracted, you wouldn't mind getting somewhat physical with a woman. You know, foreign vagina. But if you're just physically attracted to a woman, that doesn't necessarily mean you're actually bisexual or into women. Unless you can commit yourself to a woman, just as much as you would a man. You can get attached on the same emotional level, end up with a woman as your spouse. Then again this is my opinion. I don't know if I'm right xD; Personally, I felt the attraction at a young age. In 7th grade I realized I liked girls just like I liked boys. But it took a long time and thought for me to actually register. Bisexuality is a confusing thing. I say just give yourself some time, figure yourself out. You have all the time in the world to figure this stuff out, don't stress over it too much. And if you're worried about being more attracted to men then women, that's fine too. Most bisexuals I know do have a preference. And just because a bisexual woman likes men more then women, doesn't mean they are straight. Sadly, I don't know how to go out there and meet people. But I do hope I helped to some degree.
That makes sense. I'm definitely curious and haven't figured out if it's just curiosity or my sexuality. I also don't want to write curiosity as just curiosity because what if I really could have a great relationship with a woman? I think you're right in that I should just take some time and figure things out once they seem to make sense. My mom actually had a relationship with a woman for a few years and that's about the time I started wondering if I could be bisexual too.
Yeah, Thinking about it would be good for you. Just know that whatever you end up being. Bisexual, straight, or just curious, It's all fine. Your mother sounds like she'd be accepting of you no matter what, her being a bisexual as well I'm guessing. So you'll have that safety when coming out, if you find you actually are bisexy. Just be yourself and live in a way that makes you happy. And if you ever want to talk, I'm always open for conversation. c:
I was in a relationship with a guy for 4 years. Then I met one person who just changed everything. Once I started questioning, I kept thinking about my time with him and how could I have done that if I'm actually gay. But a year and a half of me thinking things through and now I feel like I know for sure. And with making my peace with that, I'm finally ready to pursue a relationship with this wonderful new girl I've been talking to When it hits you, I guess it hits you. Thinking back about that guy now (who is actually one of my best friends) I can't imagine going back to that. It just doesn't appeal to me as much as the thoughts of being with a woman. Try to imagine yourself with a girl. Physically and emotionally, short and long term. Don't feel pressured to go 'test' being gay, it's ok to just think it all over for a while. I decided i was more than just 'curious' when I wanted the long term relationships and it was more than physical attraction for me. Good luck!!!
