I have my good days and bad. More bad then good unfortunately. Today was a decent day until I didn't have the unisex bathroom door locked at work. For work I dress in drag(as a man) seeing as I am not fully transitioned, but a fellow employee saw my smooth legs and lets just say a not so manly pair of pink bikini underwear. Again, this doesn't seem that bad...yet. I work for Lowe's and most of the people that also work here are good ol' country boys and gals, and their "leader"(for lack of better terms) was the one who walked in and saw everything. I freaked, I was terrified as I heard him laugh his way down the hall. I am not ashamed, but now I'm fearful to go back to work. The company is too big to let anything happen to me, but those certain employees can make working there a living hell. I have been beaten mercilessly by several individuals at a time in my younger years, if it hadn't been for my giant of a big brother I might not even be here now. But my big brother is 600 miles away, he can't exactly drop what he's doing and come to Alabama and save my butt, even though he would and hell would come with him if I were in danger... I just remembered back to being 10 years old and 4 boys from school assaulted me in the bathroom at school calling me very hateful things all because I played with the girls and their barbies and whatnot instead of the boys. 16 years ago, it was acceptable to publicly humiliate and assault "queers" in Alabama. An exaggeration yes, but not entirely incorrect here in the backwood areas, at least back then. All of that has me re-terrified and expecting bad things to happen to me. I am strong, but only just so. I really don't ever remember being this scared, both for my life/fear of pain and my job. Maybe it's just paranoia, Idk. :icon_sad:
I am so sorry that you have experienced these things. I wish there was something I could do to stop all this violence... Nobody should have to live in fear. I hope everything works out at your work. Transphobic and homophobic workplaces are pretty common it seems - my job is no exception, like it fosters a sort of mob mentality. Are there any coworkers or HR people you trust there? Hugs (*hug*)
HR is pretty good there. It's a big company so they have to be pretty PC, but I'm worried that if this causes a stink that I will suffer in the long run, like no one willing to work with me in fear I will have them fired if they say anything uncouth.
Ugh... You have no idea how often I feared this scenario before I started full-time and began using the women's restroom. I'm so sorry that it happened to you.
The more I talk about it, the better I feel about it happening as far as that coming out relief goes. I mean this isn't the '50s I don't think I'll be drug and hanged, but it's still a little nerve wracking, and it is the Deep South. He did call my a f***** queer which is kinda funny on different levels to me, and not so much offensive, even though it was said in a derogatory manner.
It's awful that you should have to be this afraid to go to work. If your coworkers start abusing you then you should definitely go to HR. It's much better for them to be afraid of messing with you than for you to be bullied and have to be afraid of what's going to happen next. Never be afraid to defend yourself, especially if you think it might get violent. I'm so sorry you've been attacked before. (*hug*)
I like to play Ms Tough Gal, but the truth is when confronted I tend to shake uncontrolably and lose any constitution I have and generally get the crap kicked out of me or worse..I've had a MUCH worse time than just being beaten up. People can be so cruel towards something they don't understand.
Im really sorry to hear that.... i wasnt a victim but from what ive seen in school its stupid how people are treated coz of the way they act... if i was there and someone picked on ou i'd beat them up with no hesitation... once again im sorry :bang:
