Hi everyone, So i'm new to this forum, because at this moment in my life I need a little advice/support. From about an age of 15 I've been questioning my sexuality. For some time I've considered myself bisexual, however later I labelled myself a lesbian and at this moment in time I just don't know anymore. (I'm 20 by the way) The problem is mostly that I just don't know how to figure it out. I've had some sexual experiences with both genders, however now I just seem to push everybody away that comes close. Mainly because I'm afraid I will hurt them later on. But probably also because I've become a little afraid to let anyone in. I was wondering if anyone had an experience like this, or has any advice. Thanks
Since you have experimented with both genders, which gender did you enjoy most? I know you said you push people away, but at least one of them must have gone somewhere if you're counting it as an experience.
What helped me was focusing on who I could imagine spending time with in a romantic setting. Who would you rather date, cuddle, raise a family with? What feels most comfortable and natural? It's a little less sticky (pardon the pun) than the nitty-gritty sexuality question, since the human brain is often complicated in that regard... Best of luck on your journey.
I'm almost in the same situation except I haven't experimented with anyone. It sounds like we joined for the same reasons. I always tell my friends the same thing when thinking about the question of which gender do you want to be with. I tell them; "In 10 years from now, when you come home from a long day at work and all you want to do is lay down on the couch with someone, who's at home waiting on you? Man or woman?" I've come to understand, from myself mostly, that it's not always that simple. But it is something to think about...
Reading this and reading most of the other threads about sexual orientation is really nice. Because I feel I'm not alone, and where I'm from I don't know anyone who felt the same way. So thank you for that . to answer extraC's question: I think in ten years I would prefer to come home to a women. However I'm not sure if that is because I really want to, or because I made myself believe that (sounds a bit odd, but it is what it is) I will have to think things over, but this really helps a lot.
I'd have to agree with some of these other posts that say to consider what feels natural. While doing this, just- for want of a better term- relax and sort of let it happen. If you're freaking out about what your 'results' will be, you could end up potentially repressing your true interest. A much simpler thing to try is surrounding yourself with accepting, like-minded people, where you can just sort of be you, whoever it is you're attracted to. I know it'd be hard to do, but maybe try generally not worrying so much about a label. It's sort of human nature to catagorize, but you might find it easier to find out who you're more inclined to be attracted to if you're not stressing about finding a label. So yeah, bottom line is 'relax.' Pretty obvious advice, I suppose, but I hope it helps nevertheless.
I have been in your shoes all to much... but I was the hurt one... I let myself get raped as a child for 3 years because I had always been taught to save the relationship... I spent many years in a horridly destructive relationship with an abusive(verbally) female love interest... cause it felt natural... Natural is good for animals... not humans who think and learn and use their heart... use your heart... if you do not see yourself with them for the rest of your life... than your heart is not in it... move on... stop thinking about them... and start thinking about you... I can understand what the others are saying but like it always goes... nature believes in instinct... and instincts get us in alot of unnecessary trouble... but I have been hurt listening to nature... go figure I'm a Wiccan... but when it comes to love the brain controls nature and the heart controls nurture... if you don't have nurture than nature is just and animal reaction... sorry thats how I feel about it... now if you are trying to figure out your actual sexuality... nature works there... but when it comes to what you want to do for the rest of your life....
