Hey dudes/dudessess/dudeothers of the interwebs, I have got myself in a shit position at this current point in time... Ever since I have identifyed (I can't spell that word at the moment, I could spell it yesterday, I promise) myself as being attracted to guys (age 12ish) I was cool with it. But after coming out, homophobia has more or less made me avoid all gay related stuff. (media, posters, books ect) I don't even make eye contact with males anymore, fearing that it might be "inappropriate" for me to do so :icon_sad: If I turn on the TV and the is homosexual related content, I change the channel. This is bad, because I KNOW I am gay, I even have a crush on a dude (even though i don't admit it even to myself) and I want to be comfortable around people and media. Please help me.
It's pretty common for people to feel that way. To me, it sounds like you're in denial with possibly some low self-esteem. It'll pass with time and exposure. A lot of people go through phases when they're trying to come to terms with their sexuality. If you've never heard of the Kubler-Ross Model, you should read about it. It's the 5 stages of loss and grief. The only thing you can do is be patient, live your life, and embrace it. I know that's so much easier said than done, and it might be scary at times. It's ok to be afraid. What isn't ok, is for you to let that fear hold you back from the things you want to do and who you want to be. I've been out for what feels like forever at this point. I've been called a faggot and I'm sure people have said much worse behind my back because of my sexuality, but I'm still here and I'm still pretty freaking happy--about to graduate university, move in with my boyfriend, and hopefully start a career that I am insanely passionate about. Homophobes be damned. Don't worry about anyone who can't accept you for who you are. They don't deserve you. You're better off without them in your life and I mean that so sincerely.
Hi it is never easy to go against society and what they expect of you but in the end you have to be true to yourself and who you are. if you are gay then deep down you will know what is true for you, even if society thinks it is wrong and abnormal. I want you to know that being gay is normal and is not something we choose. This is the way we are created and we do not choose to be like this. Just hug yourself and know that it is ok to be gay
Well, judging from your post you clearly know that you're gay, but constant homophobia in your life has come to make you disdain it. You need to work on your self-esteem and learn not to care what people think. I know it's easier said than done, but that really is the answer.
I have somewhat the same problem in that ever since I've been out to myself, I feel awkward around girls, even more so when I'm attracted to them and like you, it's mostly because I don't want to scare them off or disgust them by staring! Why do you avoid all gay stuff? I do look at LGBT-related media and books but I still do it in private. I buy gay books online cos I'm too scared of buying them in a bookshop. If the book has a really obvious gay title, I won't even read it in public! :rolle: Hopefully, as we gain more confidence in ourselves, we'll be brave enough to just do whatever without worrying about what other people think. The one consolation I can give you is that you're half my age so you have a lot more time in front of you to sort things out! :icon_wink
