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At a loss....

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by SecretSheik, Mar 16, 2013.

  1. SecretSheik

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    ((first I hope I posted in the right spot...if not I am sorry.))

    I am at a loss.... truly.

    I once made a comment to my parents. " I'm the son you never had." Because I did more things than my brothers would do. Stuff that was considered none "feminine." and it make me felt good about myself....I liked doing things that require some time invested and tinkering it made me feel alive. Not like putting a guitar together but doing something with effort. I might've complained a little bit but it was something.

    Parents.--"Don't say things like that." and cue the awkward silence and I wound up doing it but with less gusto and then more feminine chores soon to follow. Now I'm lucky when I feel the same rush to push snow around cause no one else will do it when winter season hits. But I digress.

    Me--"I'll dress in my MALE graphic t-shirts and wear jeans because I choose too. I bought them I should proudly wear what I like and not something frilly because that isn't who I am." And if it isn't those it's a plain shirt and not a frilly over the top one that screams WOMAN.

    Parents.--"You should dress age appropriate, and something that suits you why don't you? You are **** years old. Dress like it."

    I wish I knew what to do....I am at a loss on whatever I do. I dunno what I'm suppose to do? Is this really my fault? Cause it feels like I did something wrong for feeling or acting this way, but it can't be.

    There's more to this.....but I'm not sure where else I should post it. Maybe I'll post what remains later and again if this is in the wrong category I'm sorry.
     
  2. Rivers

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    Hi there, Sheik. First off, fear not, this is the right category! Even if it weren't, an admin would just move it anyway, so no worries!

    I understand what you're going through because I, too, enjoy engaging in traditionally male activities, and wearing male clothing. I think the difference between you and me is how our parents react to this behavior.

    My parents are supportive of nearly everything I do. I enjoy building models, tossing around a football, and going to eight-hour movie marathons with my male friends. I am perhaps too fond of my many suits and ties. My parents are a-okay with that!

    I don't know who your parents are, or what their morals are, so I can't tell you the best way to deal with your problems. I started dressing in a traditionally male way in about first grade, when I told my parents firmly that I refused to wear skirts or dresses. Maybe you can just dress the way you want and see how your parents react.
     
  3. Theodora

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    No, it's not your fault and you didn't do anything wrong.

    Alot of parents see it as their job to make their children dress 'appropriately,' but unfortunately that just means in a way they think makes them look good to other people. Keep dressing the way you want to dress and the way that makes you feel most comfortable. (*hug*)
     
  4. SecretSheik

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    *nods*

    And in response to Rivers...
    My parents are catholic. =_=;;; and we're suppose to be pretty close but when it comes to something like this. NOPE. They're also as close minded about my sexuality...but believe me THAT is another topic unto itself, for another time.

    And when I did tell them about dresses....ugh, it comes down to a freaking compromise. A skirt with a nice shirt..or a dress. Yuck! Or I wear a dress pants and nice shirt. I might as well just be wearing a suit of some kind instead.

    And believe me I would love to wear something male and enjoy it but when it boils down to wearing something like this...or anything remotely out of their comfort zone....Yeah they get pretty uncomfortable. All my graphic t-shirts are designated as sleep wear and I have to either conform and get with society. *sighs*

    They just sweep it under the rug as if nothing is out of the ordinary, and act like we're all close knit and we're fine. But it's not. I hate dresses, I can't stand makeup. it's pretty much like, "Why can't you be like your other feminine sibling who is more one with being as she is?"

    *sighs* :help: