I was not born bisexual

I don't know about being born with bisexuality vs. it somehow developing, but I only remember being REALLY turned on by guys when I discovered gay porn. Could just be a kink, but sexuality is a complicated thing.

Sorry I'm not much help!

 

I second this.

I am kind of in your position here, but I also need some advive ...

 

It's sad that some LGBT people have to make each other feel bad for being other kinds of LGBT :/

In an ideal world, you wouldn't have to pick a label for your sexuality and sometimes it seems like the best thing is to refuse to do so no matter how much the real world insists on it.

 

For what my advice is worth, don't give a damn what people do or don't take seriously. If it's a part of you, then don't change it unless you feel it hurts you in some way.

Being bi is a tremendous gift, if you know how to manage it.

 

I'm currently going though a bit of a phase like this as well- I can see what makes a guy attractive, but it's not necessarily like I'm attracted to him.
While I'm pretty much on the same page with you on this, I'm pretty sure that in time things will work themselves out. ^.^ (Hormones acting up and whatnot in teen years- crud's bound to happen.)
And if you end up wanting to explore the dude world, there's really nothing stopping you. ;D
At least we've got one thing figured out: We like chicks! So at least there's a fallback plan. xD

 

i like both chicks and dudes...and well maybe into chicks more than dudes...but i'd say im gay coz bi people arent really taken seriously by some gays (experience)...and sometimes i get im too straight? wtf? you can never win....

they say krap like "your either hot or cold, straight or gay not both..."

 

(&&&) love it (&&&)

LOVE THE BANANA (!)(!)(!) I wasn't born bisexual either but now that I have been on estrogen a while I am... maybe its reactionary.... forget it to hard to think about it

 

Don't let others tell you what you should or shouldn't be. You are what you are, and if you are bisexual then so be it.

Also, don't force yourself into doing something you are uncomfortable with.

 

Do you remember what else happened during that 14th year, besides watching porn? Puberty? Break up? Family issues? Life changes?...

 

How can you be gay if you actually like chicks more than dudes? Unless you either don't or you enjoy living with tremendous amounts of cognitive dissonance (and living a rather uncomfortably limited existence I would think). Regardless, I'm not the identity police and if you feel more comfortable doing that that's your prerogative. You're playing right into their hand though. "Yeah, Winfield has slept with girls from time to time, but at the end of the day... he's gay. C'mon, bisexuality doesn't exist". That is essentially the argument you are facilitating.

Nobody is born gay or straight or bisexual for that matter. We all start out asexual and the switch flips in puberty. Your attraction to women is real and you seem comfortable with it, so why fret? It's not going to disappear. That passion that fueled your dreams will always be there. If something else develops then something else develops... that happens sometimes.

It is quite common for one side of someone's attraction to present itself obviously and strongly at first, and for the other one to sort of creep up on them over the course of several years. That's kind of what happened to me. The most difficult period of time was when my same-sex attraction grew strong enough that I couldn't keep ignoring it, but at the same time it didn't feel consistent enough for me to be fully secure in the idea that I was bisexual. That was really, really tough to go through alone and it's part of the reason I joined this site--to help anyone else while they're going through that. Eventually the attraction to men cemented itself into permanence though.

I find that the idea of having to have been 'born this way' can be psychologically damaging to someone that finds it doesn't describe their existence. It fills the mind with doubt and insecurity over every new feeling that develops. In my time on this planet, I have learned that things are much more complicated than they're described by some people. We have a long way to go before we fully understand how this works.

Remember, you're only 17. Teenage years are a big crazy. I remember what that kind of sex drive was like... it's a miracle I ever got any work done. Things might simply settle down in your 20s.

 

Well, sexuality is fluid and changing. In my personal opinion, sexuality is both decided biologically and psychologically. Pretty much, it could be that you were biologically predestined to be bisexual and that watching gay porn only revealed or helped develop those feelings. IDK, I'm 14 and bi so I'm still learning, myself. However, I say that you should never worry about people judging you because you are bi because that is the fault of others' ignorance and your only jobs on this earth are to educate the ignorant, live life to the fullest, and be happy with EVERY bit of what God gave u (if u believe in God. No offense if u don't).

 

There is no such thing as a proper sexuality; you are who you are. People do not go through phases, you're a teenager and only starting to realize these feelings, you probably had them the whole time but just either did not realize or did not know what the feelings were and dusted them off to avoid over-thinking it, kids do that EVER SO OFTEN!

I made this exact post on another posters' thread, but I feel it does apply to you as well and could probably simplify things for you...

1. Sexuality is not set in stone, meaning just because you are lesbian does not mean it is impossible for you to fall in love; ROMANTICALLY with the opposite sex; same can be said with Gay guys and straight people as well. (proven fact; 70% of women who identified as straight have admitted to having same sex crushes a few times in their life according to a nationwide counter; no such poll exists for men, but there is another poster on this site that happens to confirm men are capable of it too, it may just be a fact of them not owning up to it)

2. Labels are not the 100% all to all description, meaning not a single person is 100% gay/lesbian/straight/bi. Everyone has a few things and quirks that make them lean in the opposite direction, and usually the teenage years is when we finally learn and understand what these feelings mean and are mentally mature enough to acknowledge them, some may not like said knowledge and do what is best to DENY such things, hence why their may not be any studies leading to males stating such.

3. People do not go through phases, they go through times where they question and ask themselves who and what they are, but phases where they are attracted to both genders and then suddenly that vanishes, is not true.


4. You will know your sexuality, based on who you would prefer to be in bed with. Of course, you could search on google to take some cheap test like some people who questioned, much like myself; have before, but it'll only temporarily ease your mind.

5. Your Romantic preference is an orientation in it's own right, you fail to mention any romantic feelings towards females which makes me believe this might be the case, and if currently a romantic relationship seems more appealing to you than a sexual one, I would do it.

I hope I helped clear your confusion for you.