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first lesbian sex...is it normal to feel awkward?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by pandas, Mar 22, 2013.

  1. pandas

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    Gender:
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    I had sex with a woman last night for the first time. We met at a bar and she ended up coming home with me. I was unsure about it at first because I feel like it seemed rushed but I have never had the opportunity to be with a girl before, so I wanted to seize my chance.

    Honestly I was trying to enjoy it but I felt so paranoid the whole time that I was doing something wrong. I really enjoyed being close to her but I just ended up feeling sort of inadequate. This also has gotten me questioning my orientation and is making me paranoid.

    I still think it was beautiful, and I would definitely want to be with another woman again but am super afraid of underperforming.

    Is there something wrong with me? I feel very confused now, but I am also finding myself constantly thinking about this girl and how nice it was to be with a woman...
     
  2. Hopeful

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    I've only ever been with a guy, but from what you said I have a bit of advice: did you tell the woman you were with that it was your first experience being a woman? Because if you're upfront about that, then her expectations won't be "lower" but she will probably be more understanding and even willing to talk you through it or offer some words of advice before/after. That's what I think I'd do - though knowing me, I would be too shy to go home with someone I'd just met. It would probably take me months to get to that point. Good for you for taking that step!
     
  3. Femmeme

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    Regardless of orientation the first time you have sex is ALWAYS awkward... at best. Often it even down right sucks. As with anything if you want to be better at it you have to practice, practice, practice! :wink:

    Oh and CONGRATULATIONS!
     
  4. catmistress

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    First things first: congratulations!

    I find that having sex for the first time with any new partner is terrifying, awkward, and just a fantastic new experience to learn from. If you tell your partner that you are nervous or not quite sure what to do, they will normally help guide you through things and be honest about what feels good and what doesn't.
    Granted, I have never slept with a person who was male assigned at birth but I can imagine that it would be very similar.
    Also, to feel slightly less awkward, I decided to explore my own body a lot more than I already had and that increased my confidence a lot.
    Again, congrats and have a lovely day!
     
  5. pandas

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    thanks for all the kind words, everybody

    i didn't tell my partner that it was my first time with a girl (I've had sex with several guys) until after we were finished. I know that this is probably what's caused my insecurities, but I didn't tell her bc I was paranoid that she wouldn't want me if I didn't know what I was doing. We still woke up the next day and had a mini round 2 but I could tell she felt awkward about it. I shouldn't have sprung it on her like that, but I wasn't really thinking. also she seemed like a shy person in general, so I think maybe I'm reading too much into this...