How to stop the battle going on in my head. Its almost like im bipolar, one min im gay the next im bi . I do know a hot woman when i see one its just that the chemistry isnt there at all. I never had that desire, but my brain can not decide. I want to pick something and work towards it if that makes any sense. Have anyone else experienced this and if so what do i do. Also dont most gay people know they are gay from birth i spent 30 yrs not knowing
I can completely, totally relate. I'm terrified of coming out as a lesbian because what if I'm really Bi (I got some extra baggage surrounding the bi id though) ? Where I'm at is listening to the chemistry. The visceral thrill of who really attracts me, because that's something real and pure and untainted by either exterior or internalized homophobia. I'm also looking in the mirror everyday and saying out loud "I'm a lesbian" which is helping me embrace myself and begin to understand where all those doubts came from. I think a lot more of us question and doubt than we realize, and I think maybe a lot of us who do are afraid to put our stories out there... for fear of perpetuating the idea that gay is a choice, or fear of not being gay enough, or shame about not being a "gold star" or a million other reasons. But as I've discovered right here over the past few days: We are not alone.
