I'm 18, never had a single gay thought before a few months ago. Went through all my school life being attracted to girls. I would always watch and enjoy straight or lesbian porn, still do. Then all of a sudden, boom, i had a week long eruption of gay thoughts. I couldn't concentrate on anything for any entire week, only the thought of being with another man. I would come home from college (I'm close to finishing my second year) and just go straight to bed and fantasize about men, being with them, in their arms, cuddling and having sex. When i think about women in a sexual way, its very rough sex i think about having, me being the one in control, it's never romantic, it's just 'fucking'. But when i think about men in a sexual way, i just want it to be nice, easy, relaxing, romantic and safe, me being the one being 'cuddled'. I can imagine spending the rest of my life in a loving relationship with a man, but not a woman. I would like to be the one receiving in the gay relationship. I've cross dressed in the past. Love doing it, i easily get turned on by women in lingerie, i would rather look at a girl in a bra then without one. But definitely am not transgender, i accept and like being male. When i see a woman on the street i immediately judge what they look like, but not really with men. I more of notice their looks if i think about it. I would have no problem coming out, but i have no idea should because i have no idea am i gay? straight? bi? SO CONFUSED. I'm worried the whole 'gay' thing might be a fetish for me, and if that's the case i don't want to come out as id feel id be lying to people. Any thoughts/advice would be hugely appreciated.
It seems to me like you would rather be in a relationship with a man, and your fantasies about women are more about dominance. If anything, your interest in women sounds more "fetishized" than your interest in men.
That makes a lot of sense, whenever i think about women in a sexual way it is never just 'sex' it is always fetish related. But that's why i'm scarred that my attraction to men is just one other 'fetish' in an ever growing list, and not me being a homosexual, not that being a homosexual would bother me, i honestly wouldn't mind.
I'm no expert on fetishes, but the way you describe attraction to men sounds like it contains an emotional component, and I wouldn't really expect to find that in a fetish. But yeah, give it time and you'll figure it out. FYI, if you're interested, the term for what you're describing is homoromantic bisexual. Which everyone calls gay lol.
The way you describe your possible relationship with a man does indeed suggest that you would prefer a relationship with a man. Fetishes are a way of enhancing sex, to make it more alluring. Lingerie is a kind of hiding while revealing type of thing which can be really exciting. But that is just the point isn't it? That you need that enhancement with women to get the sex part going, whereas with men, it seems that you are prepared to go much farther than sex...
From what you said. It sounds like you're only sexually attracted to women, and sexually & emotionally attracted to men
Hey, I'm pretty much the same, you're not that weird. Difference is, I generally only really notice guys when I'm out n' bout. I'm wondering if this is just habit though. I don't think it's really necessary to come out as anything, it's not really anyone's business unless you are interested in them. That's my opinion though, you might want to, who knows.
It seems like you just have a "fetish" with the whole woman thing. Maybe you are attracted to androgynous men....have you ever seen or met an androgynous man?
