I really only made this account to ask one question. I've been sitting up all night thinking about this. It's the first time I've ever really thought hard about my sexuality, so I thought I'd talk with some people who can help. I'm an 18 year old, pretty normal guy. I've always been attracted to women, sexually and emotionally. But ever since I can remember, I've liked guys too. I have always told myself that I could never be emotionally attached to a man like I can to a woman, but I don't know if that's just me being afraid of being gay. I hear that bisexuals are really just homosexuals in denials, but I actually have no idea. I've always wanted to marry a woman (never even thought of falling in love with a man), have kids, and just live a normal life. My family (and myself) are super conservative and homosexuality has always been frowned upon. I'm just really confused and needed to finally talk to someone - I've been feeling like this for years. So what I'm really asking is what do you guys think? P.S. I hope nothing in here offends anyone
First of all, welcome to EC! You've come to the right place. No one can tell you the strength of feelings you have for women vs. the strength of these same feelings when you think about men, but that is the work you will need to do to find out. Yes, you have hinted at it, but you will need to know also to what extent your feelings for guys are repressed by your environment, that also takes some serious introspection. Read the posts here at EC, heck, read mine! The first thing you will notice is how not alone you are and how what you are feeling has been experienced by many. You can learn a lot by doing just that!
You sound like a Kinsey 2…that means that you're mostly straight, but you're also about 30% gay. And if you're romantically attracted to women, then you're effectively straight.
Hi Kyle and welcome to EC what you're describing, being attracted to women but also to men, isn't uncommon at all. It's likely that you are bisexual. Bisexuality is a real sexual orientation. Bisexual people aren't gay people in denial, though it seems to be a common stereotype both among straight and gay people. In fact, some people who are gay start to come out as bisexual before fully accepting themselves are gay. But most people who identify as bisexual are genuinely attracted to both gender, though not always on the same extent. Now, the fact that you've been raised in a very conservative and homophobic environment certainly impacted on your feelings. You've been trying to deny your attraction to men for years and this may definitely play a part in your confusion right now. So I'm not telling you that you're bisexual, I'm just telling you that this isn't something you should overlook because you're having preconceived ideas about bisexuality. You're the only one who knows how you're truly feeling. But if you happen to be attracted to both men and women, it's completely ok. And if you happen to be attracted to men mostly (or only), then it's completely ok too. You've got a long and certainly difficult journey ahead, but you've done something very important for yourself : you've acknowledged your attraction to men and you reached out for help. That is already a huge step and you should be proud of yourself (*hug*) Feel free to ask as many questions as you want, that's what EC is for, and if you need to talk to someone in private, keep in mind you're always welcome to PM any advisors you'd feel comfortable with. Take care, Cécile
