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Confused

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by An Illusion, Mar 24, 2013.

  1. An Illusion

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Liverpool, UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    ok, so I'm not good at explaining things.

    I've been attracted to the same sex since puberty but tried to deny it and ignore it, I liked guys. I tried to force myself to like guys anyway, I've found them attractive but never wanted to sleep with them or just be with them. I did end up being with a guy to try and prove to myself that I was straight and just thinking too much into things. But I didn't like it at all. It didn't feel right. I've still tried to put it off as being a bad experience, but I don't notice guys the way I notice women. I'm attracted to women, but I can accept it one minute the next I try to convince myself that I do like guys I've just not met the right one. I'm just so confused, I don't really know what I'm feeling or thinking. I notice women more than men. but I was raised in a religious family, and I don't know if I would ever be accepted. I don't know if I can accept these things myself. I don't really know why I wrote this, but I guess it's a start.
     
  2. BlackSwan

    Regular Member

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    Wow..I must say that it happened the same to me..all that you said.. (the denial, to force myself to like some guys...well actually I would say that I really liked only 2..) being with a guy but didn't felt ok with him..
    And yes...this is very confusing... actually as my info says.. I just know that I'm not str8 (came out as bi to 3 friends...) which took me some time to realize/accept, but now I'm not sure... I only know that I do like girls (actually I really like one in particular...)

    I don't think you need to "decide" if you're str8, bi or lesbian... I mean, it'll take some time and maybe you need something to happen so you know what you are or are not

    The most important I think is that you accept who you are...you'll figure it out :icon_wink

    I'm not good at explaining things either :lol:
     
  3. kibeth

    Full Member

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    Location:
    South-Africa
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    It is a good start!! (*hug*) I understand your fears about a religious family, growing up in one myself.
    Remember that the base of religion is love and I really don't think it is wrong to love someone (no matter who) so much that you want to share everything. Also try to decide if your fear of not being able to accept the possibility of being gay it is based on what you believe about right and wrong or the expectations of society/your community/your family.
     
  4. An Illusion

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Liverpool, UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Thanks for the replies :slight_smile:

    I think my fear is about the expectations of my family and that most people I know and talk to are religious and not accepting. Since I moved away and started meeting new people I have been able to question who I am and acknowledge things I've tried to ignore.

    I'm not going to label myself, but I know that I'm not straight. I can accept it and even feel a lot more relaxed and better about myself when I'm alone or with the one friend I've spoken to. but when I'm with the rest of my friends or strangers I find myself always questioning how I'm acting or what I say so that no one realises I am attracted to women. It's still scary to admit. but from thinking, I know.

    Anyway, this was just mean to be a thanks for replying :slight_smile: