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What Is Attraction?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Exoskeleton, Mar 25, 2013.

  1. Exoskeleton

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    So, after I came out to my mother, she said not to try to force a label on myself and that I was most likely mistaken about my orientation. Her reasoning is that I'm a "loving person" and any emotions I feel for other girls are purely platonic, and I'm simply mistaking them for something else.

    Personally, attraction has always been something illusive for me. I've never been able to pin it down and really make sense of what it is in words, which plays right into my mother's claim.

    So, then, what constitutes sexual and/or romantic attraction? How is that different from "friendship" or platonic feelings of affection?
     
  2. OMGWTFBBQ

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    l honestly do not know. l can tell you l enjoy sex with women and knew l was attracted to them before l ever tried it.

    With men, it's very confusing. l especially want to know what the difference between chemistry and attraction is. l've had intense chemistry with a lot of men (and women), l can't tell if the physical aspect doens't feel as intense with those men because l simply don't feel attraction or am holding back because l'm unsure about my sexuality.

    When a person has a very clear-cut reaction to non-attraction they can make the distinction easily, l'd like to hear about how gay men especially separate amazing chemistry from physical attraction.
     
  3. Caudex

    Caudex Guest

    Baby don't hurt me…
     
  4. Ettina

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    Do you feel a tingle in your private parts when you look at or think of other girls naked? Do you feel a tingle when you look at or think of boys naked?
     
  5. Exoskeleton

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    So attraction is purely sexual arousal?
     
  6. Monocle

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    I was wondering about this too. I mean... I get crushes on girls, and if there's a woman gyrating on TV I can get off to that, but I don't see people on the street and pop a ladyboner. I don't know what it's like to look at someone walking around at the mall and think, "Damn, I wanna bang you." (Male or female)

    I might be thinking, "OMG please notice me notice me notice me I want to get to know you blah blah" but not really about jumping them, if that makes sense?
     
  7. Oddish

    Oddish Guest

    I'm romantically attracted to all genders, binary and outside of the binary. I lack sexual attraction to everyone.

    Romantic attraction to me, is, well, romantic. Being close and intimate with someone, but not necessarily sexual or involving sex. I'm physically attracted to people, but I don't want to have sex with them. I don't feel anything towards anyone in a sexual manner.

    I wouldn't say attraction is purely sexual arousal, because if that were the case, I wouldn't be attracted to anyone. I can differentiate my romantic attraction to somebody, from friendship. With friendship, I don't feel as "needy." I don't feel like pursuing a relationship, whereas in a relationship.. I like kissing, cuddling, being close. I'm physically attracted to whoever I'm pursing a relationship with, unlike with a friendship where I might lack those feelings.

    I guess it is tedious to try and describe.. I mean, I still don't even know what sexual attraction is and how it works, because I can't experience it myself.