Is it possible to not really have an "orientation"?

It's certainly possible and quite OK to have a label not fit what you feel - I think that's what you're getting at, correct me if I'm wrong.

 

I absolutely agree! Personally I don't bother labeling myself because, quite frankly, I don't really think I fit any labels and I don't care. I just say Im not straight and leave it at that. Most people respect that and leave it alone.

 

That's why I like "queer" so much, loaded word or not. It works as a broader term for literally anything Not Straight, and it's nice not to have your sexuality pigeonholed...

 

The purpose of labels is to categorize. If a label makes sense, use it. If not, don't.
We categorize all things in life. A car can be red, although it's not really the same red as another red. A horse is a mammal, although it's very different from a whale. A child can be three years old or ten. And so on. Categories are there to point to what is common, not to imply there is uniformity within it.
The problem with labels when it comes to sexuality is that they tend to be exclusive. So, for example, a gay person is not bisexual. But that's wrong. Being gay means you like men (if you are one). That's a subset of "bisexual". Labels can only point to similarities, not differences, because there are always differences between any two objects.

Labels exist to make it easier to categorize. There is nothing wrong in categorizing, as long as we don't lose sight of its purpose. So, when trying to fit everything in groups betrays that purpose and categorization becomes a purpose for itself, it's time to stop. After all, whenever you try to organize anything, be it your papers, files on a computer or your wardrobe, you always end up with one pile marked "misc", which actually means no label.

If a label doesn't fit you, there's no reason to try to make yourself fit the label. The best fitting label is always "you". When it comes to sexuality, it's ok to say "I'm not ***sexual, I'm Marksexual, Sarahsexual and maybe a little Alexsexual, but that's it".

 

This is what I did. Even back in the days of MySpace, I never answered whether I was into men or women.

It's a good start, but definitely not the end-all. Most people never noticed.

 

I think that labels are more important to some people and less important to others. Labels are extremely important to me, and I feel upset when I can't categorize things. But if a generic label (like 'queer' or just 'not straight') works better for you, or if you'd rather not use any label at all, then that's what's right for you.

 

I've been having the same problem as you with orientation identity- most people wouldn't get it (or not want to get it) if I tried to explain everything about being Homoromantic and basically I-can't-figure-out-if-I'm-anything-sexual-or-not, so I've decided to go with the term that's closest to what I am and one that most people would understand: lesbian.
And hey, you can always come out as pansexual or bi- leave your options open!

You could say just that: that you aren't strait! If someone asks for more details, you can just tell them truthfully that you don't know yet (and add they'll be the first to know when you figure it out ;D)

When someone tells me "Oh that's gay." or "Dude that's so gay." my favorite response is "Oh yeah? Good. Wouldn't want to make the wrong impression." So if that doesn't subtly get the point across... xD

 

I'm not a huge fan of labels either. I think that's why it was so difficult to come out to my parents because I knew that they'd immediately want to label me gay or straight. People like it when you fit into a category. I like to think that it make people feel comfortable putting you into a little box.

I don't label myself a lesbian but I'm also not going to claim to be straight either. I'm in love with a wonderful woman so technically I am a lesbian in the eyes of society but I don't feel drawn to any certain label, I'm just me and that's all I'll ever be.

 

I used to say I didn't have a sexual orientation, until I figured out that many people consider asexuality an orientation.

 

That's how I feel! Honestly I only know I'm not straight. The rest? Oh, I'm confused....
Thanks for posting.

 

I'm no expert, but I think that's called pansexual.

 

There's different words you could use for that. There's bisexual, pansexual, multisexual, polysexual, etc. Though pansexual is usually the one that people describe as being "genderblind." Not really paying attention to the sex of the person, but more the personality and emotional attachment.

Another word that comes to mind is demisexual. Those are the people who don't really experience much sexual attraction until they actually get emotionally close to a person. They have to get emotionally attracted/attached to the person before they want to have sex. Though this isn't just an exclusive orientation in itself. There can be homosexual demisexuals, who can only fall for someone of the same sex, and they have to build an emotional connection to the same sex before they can do anything sexual. Or a heterosexual demisexual, etc etc.

If you actually feel that describes you, you could add something allong with the demi, to show WHO you could be attracted to. Like a pansexual demisexual, for example. Or you could just say screw it and say you're just a demisexual. If anyone asks, then just say you have to fall for someone emotionally before you want them sexually.

That is, if you even like that label. Sorry for ranting... XD