So yesterday I when I was at work, my colleague, supervisor and myself were having a light hearted conversation about dating. I don't think I said anything that would have given away my bicurious tendencies however I cannot remember tr specifics of the conversation.. Regardless my supervisor said something like "am I going to get a new toaster?" In which cause I had to inquire about the phrase and he explained furter saying, "you're not going to come out as lesbian on me are you?" I think I appeared obviously flustered but I said "uh no, where did that come from?". And he said sorting like it might be fun to have another gay in the office. He identifies as gay and is in his early 40s. I'm not sure if he picked up some gaydar from me but I can't stop thinking about his comment. I was thinking about disclosing my feeling about being bicurious to him since he's a really nice and welcoming guy. I'm not sure if his comments were intended to be playful or to open a door... How does everyone deal with off handed comments about sexual orientation at work? Especially when they are still in the closet?
But are you bicureous or homosexual? You say bicureous on your post, but homosexual on your little ID thing at the side. This is just because I'm nosey by the way. As for the work thing, if you feel you want to talk to him and he would be supportive, go for it. A lot of gay people I know had guessed I was gay before I acknowledged it to myself. Guess I must have some gay type vibes going on.
No idea how toasters play into this. I've often joked that "I don't want a marriage ceremony - you can just send me a toaster and we'll call it a day." How did I respond when asked, before I was really out? If I felt like it, I'd say something. If not, I might just joke about it. "You're not going to come out as gay on me, are you?" "Hey, no telling what might happen. Stay tuned. " Lex
I've had openly gay friends joke with each other about how some people act like being GLBTQ is a choice to join a club. Part of the joking involves how you get your membership card and a welcoming gift when you come out. I think the toaster was a reference to the "welcoming gift".
The toaster reference has been around for awhile; the idea being that when any gay person "recruited" a person into the "gay lifestyle", they won a toaster as an incentive. (This goes back to the days when banks and other businesses gave away toasters or blenders or something when you opened a new account.) The most visible reference to the "get a toaster" I can think of is on the episode of Ellen's sitcom where she finally comes out. During the show, Ellen is talking to the lesbian person she's met saying "I'm not gay. You're just trying to recruit me." And the person responds back, sarcastically, "Darn. All I needed was one more and I got the toaster." And then... at the end of the show, after Ellen has come out... as the credits are rolling, Melissa Etheridge, Ellen, and the lesbian are sitting at a table, Melissa is stamping a whole bunch of papers and handing them to Ellen, who says "I had no idea it was this formal", and then Melissa hands the lesbian a toaster oven. It was pretty funny at the time... though I'm sure some dumbasses thought it really worked that way. Onto the main topic of the post... I think your supervisor was trying to be friendly and open. He probably knows... most people are more obvious than they realize. So I wouldn't stress about it, but it seems clear you could tell him and he'd have no problem with it.
