So I'm male in my early 20s and have always considered myself straight. About 3 months I began questioning myself about my sexual orientation and it just wouldn't stop bothering me on a daily 24/7 basis. It didn 't start because I found guys attractive or anything but because of my experience , or lack of, with girls. I know I've never had a big push to date or hook up with any but the times I have fooled around I did like and I was easily aroused. There was 1 time that I didn't enjoy fingering (please forgive me if that offends anyone) yet was deinently aroused and would like to have done more but that just stuck in my head that i didn't enjoy it... Anyways the questioning led to a voice in my head that said I was gay and after a depressing/anxiety/paranoia filled 3 months I began to think I was a gay guy deep in the closet. I losy virtually all attraction to women and started to develop an attraction to men. I tried to accept this amd was even getting ready to come out but 2 weeks ago I went out with friends and made out with a girl and got really aroused by her. Then I started noticing girls again and was easily getting aroused at the thought of them again like I use to. My attraction to guys even started to fade but recently its started to come back and ive lost a little interest in girls again I wanted to test this out so in the same day i looked at gay and lesbian porn and they both turned me on. Now when i go out in public i usually notice women. When i fantasise id say its about 50/50. When i go online id say i notice men more. So as you can tell im pretty messed up. Another fun fact is that i have always considered myself asexual because of my lack of sex drive so i really dont want to go out and fool around with either sex. I have never had a crush on a guy but now when im around some of my guy friends i get unwanted gay thoughts. I'm sure I could have sex with a guy but i can only imagine recieving bjs or hjs but i dont think i could return the favor and i imagine thay id get bored quick. Also I cant see myself dating a guy as I've always enjoyed hanging out and getting intimate juay seems weird. With girls id love to date them cuddle, get intimate, travel, make a family etc. When it comes to sex i have always wanted to do stuff and still do but that damn voice created a fear that even though i can get aroused and erected thay it be a lie and that i wont enjoy it but i really want to try. There are even a few girls I have huge crushes on right now. Ugh so you can all tell im obsessng over this and cant stop obsessing. I keep trying to go with the flow but its like i have to know but im so bad with girls and dont want to try guys that i feel i will forever remain this way. Anyways thanks for your paitence and help. I'm open to ideas suggestions and any reccomendations to where i could meet people like me as i have obly straight friends.
STRAIGHT? GAY? BISEXUAL? ASEXUAL? Don't waste your time with circular thinking or testing your sexuality with porn. You are your own boss – what do you want to explore first? I think WOMEN. If you like them, call yourself STRAIGHT. Later explore MEN, if you are still interested in them. If you like them, call yourself BISEXUAL or GAY, depending on the result of your exploration of women. And if it turns out that you don't experience any sexual attraction you should find out more about ASEXUALITY. Asexual Visibility and Education Network If you want to hear my speculative assessment because you can't wait for your own empirical testing I vote for BISEXUAL. Can you sleep better now? :icon_wink In my opinion most heterosexuals are bisexuals who ignore their homosexual potential. You considered yourself as straight and suddenly explored your homosexuality when you realized that you don't have experience with girls. I think your paranoia served a good purpose, because you finally discovered homosexuality. If you are BISEXUAL but too lazy to date men you can call yourself STRAIGHT, if you prefer that. Can you sleep better now? :icon_wink
