Okay...someone help me out here. I'm young, and consequently I don't know who I am or what I want, which leads me to the question: Am I Gay? Now it seems like every gay teen wonders this because they're scared, and I was one of those teens just a few weeks ago, but ever since I've come out to my best friends it feels like I can't wonder anymore, like I no longer have the right to wonder about my sexuality because now it's set in stone. And I feel trapped, like a caged bird, a prisoner, it's maddening. Question: is it normal to look at, let's say one in every one hundred guys I see every day, and find one attractive? Because I use to, and then it occured to me that if I could still picture myself having sex with that one guy, it wasn't okay to call myself gay, because by association I was, indeed, straight. Now just to clarify things, I do like girls. Like this: I can look at three hundred different girls everyday and be attracted to them, and I don't mean getting horny, wanting to rip off their clothes every few seconds kind of attraction, but it's simple, subtle. I can imagine my college years spent with a beautiful girlfriend, living wih her, marrying her, having children with her (biological or otherwise) and it feels wonderful to me, absolutely beautiful. But there's this one girl, one simple moment where everything clicks, and suddlenly I feel like I'm about to explode with sexual desires. I like guys, like this: I look at a hundred guys a day, with absolutely no attraction at all, but then there's one guy that stands out, one prince charming amidst all the frogs and I look at him and I think "my God, I wouldn't mind fucking him." icon_redf excuse my language) So you see this is where my confusion stems from, I like them, I don't like them. I want to like girls, it feels right to like girls, but what about that one guy? that one out-lier? Am I alone on this one? Are there others who feel like this? How did you deal with it? (I'm sorry to go off like this, because I know that you guys can't tell me who I am, or what I like; it's just that, I thought I might be the only one.) :help:
Occasional attraction to men does not make you straight. It may make you bisexual. But it could never make you straight, even if you were attracted to all the 100 guys, if you still liked women. Why is bisexuality not mentioned in your post as an option?
Well I thought about that possibility for a long time: for a little while it sounded ridiculous, at one point I thought I just had to make a decision, and now it's just not in my head at all. I suppose it is possible, I don't know maybe I'm just scared of it. Can I still be bisexual if I prefer girls?
I don't like labels. They tend to do more harm then good. You can be bisexual and never have been with a woman and been with hundreds of men if you find both sexes attractive. I wouldn't stress out about labeling yourself. You like who you like, your sexuality is not what defines you, it's the decisions you make that defines you. Who cares if you like men, women, or both. You aren't the only one that has wondered this, I promise! And I too feel like a princess looking for her prince/princess :lol: Hang in there(&&&)
Yes, you can be bisexual and still prefer girls. Sexuality is rarely one hundred percent. It all depends on what degree you like both sexes. In this case, the question lies with men it seems. How much do you like men? Could you see yourself in a relationship with one? Do you think it's even a possibility? Does the thought of restricting yourself to one sex for the rest of your life make you restless, sad, or like something is missing? In the end, the label lies in whatever you feel most comfortable in labeling yourself as. At this point, I would try to focus on who you find attractive instead of on labels. They make things too complicated, generally.
I've had boyfriends in the past, and I've had a countless number of them like me and ask me out, I've just never really been very interested. That is until I met my last boyfriend, he made my head spin round, but I realize now I was never really sexually attracted to him, it was more of an intellectual play time. I was raised around heterosexuals my whole life, so of course the idea of being in a relationship with a man doesn't repulse me, I'm just really not that interested. And lastly, yes the thought of restricting myself to one sex scare me, I feel trapped, and I don't like it, but oddly enough I love saying it "I'm Gay." It rolls off my tongue so easily, and yet it terrifies me.
Wow RedLight, you put that very well into words! I am basically in the same situation, however, on the other side of the spectrum..I'm a guy of course. Like the other day in college, I looked in the hallway and saw this guy who we exchanged glances and he smiled at me. I felt an extreme connection right away, but I had to walk and get to class. I wanted to walk around the school and say hi. I'm not sure if you can label that as homosexual attraction, or just a brotherly attraction or overall jealousy. At this point I am questioning everything but it feels so right to say hey..I think I might be gay! I still feel very very ashamed, as my family has raised me in a strong Christian faith -- my parents are very anti-gay, it is sad. My sister, however, is extremely open - she loves watching gay shows and all that stuff on tv. She has mentioned that , "God forbid if one of us were gay. I don't know what mom and dad would do." I am very very troubled by this -- I feel though, once I do find out my sexuality for sure, I can be proud and just tell them how it doesn't matter which sex you are attracted to - what matters is the love. So basically what I am saying is you may be bisexual, but you are probably a lesbian if you think you are DO THE BANANA!! (!)(!)(!)(!)(!)
(!) (!) (!) (!) (!) (!) everyone loves a good BANANA! But in all seriousness I can completely relate to your situation, I have a strong Christian background as well but to make it worse...it's a Roman Catholic background (God I hate that church). So even if I am completely gay (man I really do hate labels) I'll have an extremely hard time coming out to my parents. Which is why I don't plan to re-touch that subject with them until I'm completely out of the house. they say out of sight ought of mind right? Maybe I'll meet a really nice girl and we can talk about how to tell them together. But hey, a girl can dream right? -Agent F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S. Also, go for that cute guy, you don't know if you don't try right? Get a move on, maybe he likes good banana too (!) (!) (!)
Hah! Yeah I need to find someone, I'm lonely! Although the relationship would be like very hard to maintain.. it would have to be totally out of my house -- but I'm moving out in a few months for a new college .. OOps I saw that you were 18, so you could be going to school for acting but you probably aren't . I want more of a relationship first rather than a sexual relationship, although I am craving to lose my virginity to be blunt. I am so tired of people asking me if I have a girlfriend or not.. Yeah that guy looked pretty good at that moment and time. It is too bad he slipped away, but I will probably see him some time around the school.
OH MY WORD! I wasn't even trying for that inuendo...(!) Yeah I'll be moving out, but not for another year. And I'm not going to school for acting, I think that would just be a little bit redundant after the highschool I went to.
