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Wanting some advice....

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by A Mom, Apr 1, 2013.

  1. A Mom

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    I had posted previously about my 5 year old son. My son was born female, but has, since the time he knew the difference, stated he was a boy. We have struggled with this for some time, then have come to the realization that he is our son. We have supported him. He acts, dresses, and looks just like a boy. We treat him like our son and refer to him as our son, my husband struggles with this but he is doing his best and we are working through it together. We are dealing with family and friend issues now. Friends are easier, since we can just chose not to have them in our lives. Family, on the other hand, is a bit trickier. My husbands side of the family is very supportive, but my side is not. I have tried to educate them, but they continue to believe that what we are doing is wrong and that we are dooming our son to hell. The God I believe and know loves my son, so I do not agree with my family what so ever. Needless to say...does anyone have advice as to how to handle friends and family? My son is very attached to his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins...so this is difficult for him too. He is very sensitive, and still dealing with confusing and conflicting emotions. Even at 5 he understands society and it's "rules." I want my son to grow up knowing he is loved, supported, accepted, and perfect just the way he is. Our other obstacle is school. He will begin school this fall, for the first time. Does anyone have advice, references, and or legal knowledge in Colorado with schools? We are going to meet with my sons teacher, counselor, and any other needed staff, but I want to be prepared. I do not want my son discriminated against! I want to have the right to enroll him as a boy, treated like a boy, and be able to be the boy he is. We live in a rural area, so this will be a "shock" to our small community and I do NOT want my son to be in the middle of a media massacre or anything else! I want him to be treated just like every other boy in the class.
     
  2. Toneth

    Full Member

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    Location:
    northeast ohio
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I can't offer much advice, but give your family time to deal and they might come around, aside from that, kudos for being the best parents uhm... ever!
     
  3. Winfield

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    VIC 3000
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    in all honesty, it may take months or even years for family to get around it....
    and being in the kinda area your in... you aint gonna get support their either....

    have you thought of moving areas? or seeing if there's some help in your community for families like yours? or other kids like your son?

    sorry not much help here... all the best and props to you and your husband!!!! your Son is a champ and will really appreciate everything you two have done for him
     
  4. Hexagon

    Full Member

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    You could try presenting your family with medical information and clinical studies about transpeople. Though if their issue is religious, I don't know if that will help much. I'm not in a position to right now, but when I get home from work, I'll find some links that might be useful.

    I don't know much about the laws of your state, but you should try and familiarise yourself with the law so that if one of their objections is legally questionable, you know it. Otherwise, might it be possible to enroll him without mentioning anything?
     
  5. pl66

    Regular Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    I know religion plays major role in people lives. I'm not a religious nut, but what I know is that God loves everybody! Regardless of who that person is. That is real unconditional love :slight_smile:
     
  6. opti

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    i can tell you when my parents reached that point instead of trying to help they dismissed it and forced me to be the gender i am not. it really messed up my life and they still dont support me. as a child it made me resort to violence, as a teen it made me resort to drugs, and as adult it made me try suicide. i wish i had parents who would have encouraged me to be myself. instead what happened was i spent my life surviving the only way i knew how, it was miserable... and making the first steps when your in your 20s is hard cuz im truelly alone.
    i encourage you to let your child be himself... there are specific therapists you can seek i would encouraged that, maybe find some support programs. best of luck he will thank you when hes older for letting him be himself
     
  7. wandering i

    Full Member

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    I'm just so grateful to you and your husband for raising your son as such from such an early age. I can't tell you what I would give to have known I had the option and been raised and treated appropriately through childhood and the rough teenage years. The fact that the two of you love him and support him so much is encouraging to me.

    You might look up an LGBT support group in your area. I'm sure they would have more resources and guidance for you in legal matters.