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Confused about sexuality..

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by superconfused, Apr 4, 2013.

?

What do you think I am?

  1. Gay

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  2. Straight

    2 vote(s)
    33.3%
  3. Bi-sexual

    4 vote(s)
    66.7%
  4. A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. superconfused

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2013
    Messages:
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    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    OK, so this is the first time I've ever done anything like this, even considered it really..

    Basically, I am a 21 yr old male and I have had creeping insecurities about my sexuality for some time now. I have always found women attractive, like, insanely attractive. I date women, I have sex with women, which I enjoy. I envisage myself having a wife one day. But I've always been a bit experimental with my taste in pornography and stuff. I enjoy anal masturbation when I masturbate, but I have never initiated this while with a woman. (haven't plucked up the courage!)

    This might not seem too outlandish, but I love transexual porn and I have on occasion masturbated to gay porn. But the latter I feel is more experimental and me just "pushing the boat out" a bit sometimes. My concern is that a few years ago I would feel this immense shame after any anal masturbation or after watching transexual porn. Is this me trying to suppress something? Is this normal for a 21 year old to not be able to easily define their own sexuality?

    This is the strange part. I've had sex with a number of women now, but I've never orgasmed during sex with a woman. I think this is what has been feeding my insecurities these past few years, because I am unable to climax when with a woman and I start doubting myself. It's not that I've ever had problems staying erect, and its not an issue of enthusiasm, I'm like a dog on heat when I get laid. Thing is, I just keep going and going and never reach that peak. The longest time I've ever had sex for was 4 hours. It sounds very strange and it's not a good thing, or something I want... But having said that, it still isn't as if I don't enjoy it.. I love having sex with women, and I absolutely love going down on women. I just kind of accept that I'm not going to orgasm..

    But anyway, pressing on... So I don't necessarily feel gay, but I don't really know what I am in light of all of these things. Even when I signed up to this site I was going to select "straight" as my sexuality, but had to stop and seriously think about how it was slightly arbitrary to select straight as my sexuality then ask advice on what my sexuality was...
    I don't think I find men attractive. I don't feel like I've ever had a crush on a man, not one I can recall at any rate. I never find myself looking at men when in public. I cannot say the same about women!! The thought of actually having gay sex, or even kissing men is something that I dont find at all appealing, but then the shame thing makes me wonder if this is just me suppressing something again. I have when I've been out clubbing danced with men which I've gotten a bit of a kick out of, but again, I never felt like it was sexual, I think it's actually narcissism, like I get enjoyment out of men finding me attractive too.(this is where you all hate me, I know, its messed up) The reason I think this is once I was with a friend in town and we ran into a guy he knew. This man was clearly gay, very effeminate, very soft spoken. I immediately imitated his voice and started acting "camp", flirting unashamedly with him. The thing is, I didn't find him attractive, I just wanted to flirt with him. I saw him in town another time after this and he initiated conversation and I literally bolted for the door.

    I'm rambling now. Time to wrap up.
    I don't get it. Is any of this normal?
     
  2. cm81990

    cm81990 Guest

    I voted straight. You clearly enjoy your sexual experiences with women and starting at real-life women in public. There is absolutely no indication in your description of genuine attraction towards guys, so I don't believe you are bi or gay. You may have some narcissistic qualities such as enjoying the attention from gay guys. I am gay and do flirt with girls. I love when they find me attractive. Doesn't make me straight or bi. Porn does not necessarily fall in line with our sexual orientations. You may like it due to it being taboo or dangerous, or perhaps something new or novel. But in reality, you would not like to participate in gay sex.
     
  3. theMaverick

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    DFWTX
    I think you're straight.