Hi. So, l have questions. l realize how different the attractions can be among people who call themselves bisexual. l would say in my case, l'm not aesthetically attracted to men but am attracted for other reasons and that ties in with my questions. lf you do prefer one sex like l do (mostly for aesthetic reasons) have you felt like you were missing out if or when you tried to settle down with the other sex? or did you settle down successfully? l know that's a stereotype but for me it's important to ask, because l lean so much closer to just being gay that l don't know if l would always want to be with the same sex. ln the past, l have wanted to be with the same sex while with men, but l think it was related to my not accepting that l could still be attracted to men for other reasons and wanting to deny that it could be a legitimate attraction. How have you handled dating both sexes throughout life, if you still do? My issue with labeling myself as bi and what has happened in the past is that once l was involved with men, l knew zero gay people and had no link to the community. When l wanted to date women again, it seemed as hard as it was when l was a teenager and the coming out process was still an issue. l need to figure out exactly how 'out' lm supposed to be in my personal life. Since my family probably already suspects me of being gay this isn't really an issue, but l never wanted to be one who talks about LGBT issues constantly while dating nothing but the opposite sex. No offense to anyone but it's something that annoys me. Have you find that, if you do have a purely aesthetic draw toward one sex, it's become less important over time? or after you found the right person? Sort of a repeat of the first question. l think if l found a guy that l liked for the same reasons as l liked the men l already dated and stopped obsessing about them not being pretty enough, l could actually be satisfied. The flipside of this is my finding a girl who l do think is attractive, but very often l actually feel a stronger bond with men. l would think that bond would be something more longstanding if l would allow it to be.
