Sorry this is most likely in the wrong place, but I didn't know where to put it >.> I don't know, recently I feel like I'm such a pervert because I'm gay, and that I watch gay porn, and anally masturbate... which I did yesterday, and afterwards I just felt really bad about it, which really hasn't ever happened before. Probably due to my depression which decides to be a cunt this week, and bad repercussions of my being gay, since people make fun of me all the time because of it, and I have never told my parents, nor will I, but my mom knows because she read a few texts.. and she mocks me all the time because of it. Why can't I just be happy >,>
For starters, don't be so hard on yourself. It sounds like nobody else is giving you a break, so at least you can be easier on yourself. I know how hard that can. You aren't a pervert. I notice your in Missouri, and if where you live is like anything where I grew up in Oklahoma, it's not easy to be anything other than straight in those places. I'm sorry that your own mother is mocking you because of your sexuality, the best thing I could suggest to you would be to wait 2 years, keep your head down, and then college is just fantastic. Most of my progress has been made while I was in college.
Well, a thought occurs to me, that a lot of people feel dirty and unclean when having straight sex, or masturbating - to porn or not. If one is suffering from depression, it becomes very easy to associate nearly any activity with negative thoughts and feelings. All the best.
I'm sorry you have to deal with people making fun of you. As someonelost said, don't worry, it'll get better ("It Gets Better" also check their channel). On the pervert thing, I can only tell you, I've done it, I do it, and I will probably will do it again, don't feel guilty about it, specially when you're 16 you explore your body and that's an awesome thing to do. Finally, consider telling your mom about it, she may stop mocking you and taking things seriously and even be the first person to give you a break and help you.
