I have this friend, and I'm really worried about her. She's from Vietnam, and she's studying in the US. She's a great girl, very bright, very kind. She's also dating another one of my friends, a girl who comes from another city. There's one problem... Her family is homophobic. I guess it's just the way older people are in Vietnam. Somehow, they found out that she's dating a girl and they basically threatened to cut her out of the family. Her parents are paying for her tuition, so if she was cut off..then she'd end up back in Vietnam (which is a pretty toxic environment for gay people). She'd lose everything because of it. And I guess the problem isn't this girl she's dating... I mean, as harsh as it sounds, she'd probably eventually get over it. But my friend is like...a 6 on the Kinsey Scale. If her parents set her up with some guy, she's going to be miserable. So I guess...do you guys have any advice on this? I don't even know what to tell her, because my own coming out was actually really positive. I don't know how to help someone that's basically been told she'll be out on the streets if she continues dating a girl.
Well, if it's a case where she isn't financially independent, most signs point to "she needs to stop dating this girl". Or at the very least, she needs to find a way to stop letting that information get back to her parents... though that's probably more difficult and more stressful in the long run. It's essentially like being closeted again, right? If it's worth it to her, are running off of student loans or something (enough to make her not dependent on her parents for school) an option? More importantly, is that burden worth dating this girl? Sometimes it really is best to just smooth the waters, at least for a little while. Once things settle down a bit, then she can reevaluate what her options are and consider dating again... or consider finding a way to become financially independent of her parents.
