Hey there, So here is the deal: I am really confused about whether I am straight, gay, or bi. A little bit about me: I am a 20 year old college student. I am super girly and in a sorority. I've only ever been with guys but I've always kind of been interested in girls and even talked to some guys about it. One night last year I got really drunk and made out with a girl in front of our dates. I know I kind of did it for show, but I also did it because I wanted to try. I think I liked it and I may want to try again. The girl I made out with was fairly pretty and very girly like me. I am still very attracted to her and we talk sometimes. It's hard to figure out how she feels about what happened and we've never really talked about it. We do talk about guys and sex a lot though so I'm not sure if she's hinting that she's interested or trying to tell me she's only into guys. Thoughts? How can I let her know I would be interested in making out again and possibly doing more? Aside from her I've only every been really attracted to more manly looking lesbians. I'm sorry but I don't know if there is a name for them this is my first time on a website like this. Could I be gay if I only like women who look like that? I am just really confused and looking for someone to talk with and kinda figure some of this out. Thank you.
Hi, I'm afraid I don't have any answers but your situation is so similar to mine I just had to reach out and commiserate. I'm also very "girly" and I had questioned my sexuality before but about a month ago I got drunk and made out with a female friend (actually quite a bit more than made out) and ever since then I've been questioning furiously. At this point I think I'm at least bisexual, probably gay. To be honest, the experience with my friend was the first sexual experience I've really enjoyed. I did talk to the friend I was intimate with a couple weeks later. I started that conversation by asking her if she wanted to talk about what had happened between us when we were alone and there was no one who could overhear us. She said not really, that she wasn't embarrassed and she had done that before and while she liked being intimate with girls, she could never really picture herself in a relationship with one. I said I was questioning my sexuality. She wished me luck, and has been very supportive and discreet ever since. In terms of your question, my impression is you can definitely be gay and only be attracted to slightly more tomboyish lesbians. You can also be bi and be attracted to both genders. Or you can just be gay. I know it's frustrating as hell, but try to just take some time to think honestly about what you want, and don't be nervous if the answer is both genders. I'm still pretty confused about myself, though I think the answer is probably gay, I'm not quite sure yet. I hope regardless of the answer you have some supportive people (maybe some supportive sorority sisters) who can talk to you. I've felt a million times better ever since telling my two closest friends what I'm going through. But I know I can trust them to keep my business private (they've trusted me in the past) and I feel comfortable confiding in them, which was the most important thing. Sorry for the long answer, but you're situation just really reminded me of what I'm going through and I had to reach out. I'd be happy to keep the thread going as we both try to figure our lives out
I think being "girly" (or Femme) can really make it harder on us to realize and come to terms with our sexuality. You certainly aren't alone.
