I'm new here and trying to figure it all out. I've thought I liked guys up until recently, but now am questioning if I'm actually sexually attracted to them. Here's my question: I don't like guys touching me, I'm fine with them up until they try to hold my hand or grab my arm or nudge me and then I just feel anxious. For example: Last month I thought I really liked this guy, he was nice, funny, pretty decent looking, and had a nice accent, which I quite liked. He even liked me back, it seemed. Things were going fine until he grabbed my arm. He probably ment nothing by it, and to everybody else in the room it probably seemed like a nice gesture, he was trying to involve me in a conversation and was trying to encourage me to get involved. But as soon as he touched me all interest I had in him fell away. This has happened with other guys as well, it's like them touching me activates some sort of "shut down" mechanism in my brain. Could this be a sign I'm not attracted to guys? I'm fine with girls touching or hugging me, but with guys I just can't stand it. I don't have any problem with guys on a personal level, but I just don't like it when they touch me. Has anybody else felt like this?
Could anything in your upbringing have had an effect on this behavior? Did someone try touching you when you were younger to which you felt uneasy? Its hard to definitively say without knowing the whole picture.
No, my childhood was normal. Just not a fan of being touched. I'm also completely fine with guys, just don't like them touching me.
This is coming from a guy's perspective, so take it for what it's worth. I hate people touching me, even "friends" (boy and girls alike). The only exception has been the girl I fell in love with when I was younger, then I became quite physical (and so did she). Seems in my case it was most likely because I have trust issues and I'm very introverted so having people force their actions on me when I'm not "willing" really made me uncomfortable. Out of curiosity, you mentioned "shutting down" when being touched, but what about when you touch him? (If you have). Also, how have the guys who touched you made their approach? (Feels weird phrasing it that way...Here, show on the doll where the boys touched you!) Were they a bit aggressive/forceful, or more calm and understanding, because I could definitively see the former as a possible trigger for a "shut down" if you're not comfortable with it. Otherwise, you say you are questioning your sexuality, but made no mentioned of having same-sex attraction so I'm not sure if you're either potentially bi/lesbian/demi, or simply have an aversion towards males or at least in how they approach you.
I guess it could be that I'm not too touchy of a person. I don't really like to initiate contact and try not to touch people (girl or guy) I'm not phobic or anything, I just don't do it. When guys touch me it's not forceful or anything, it's just their touch that kind of ends any attraction I feel for them. Up until they touch me everything's usual great, I'm imagining two point five kids and a picket fence, and they touch me and my brain just says "nope, let's get out of here". As for if I'm attracted to the same sex. I don't know. I'm still kind of figuring it all out. I think I might be. I had a much longer, much more confusing post about everything I was feeling yesterday, but wanted to focus in on the touching part of it all in its own area. I'm mainly just curious if this has been anybody else's experience and maybe it could be an indicator to whether or not I'm really attracted to guys.
It means you want some boundaries. Also, touches are not necessarily a good indicator of one's sexuality.
