I have no thoughts of having a girlfriend. None. For as long as I can remember, thinking about presenting a girlfriend to my friends and parents fills me with dread and near digust. If I replace it with a boyfriend, then it changes. But I am still sexually attracted to girls, so much so that I'd say 95% of it is towards them, but my personal interest (if that makes sense) has only romantic relationships with men. I still fantasize about sex with girls, but it is not based off a romantic relationship. But when I think about this, I feel wrong on the inside. Is it just guilt from accepting it or is am I attention seeking without knowing it? Any help would be great, thanks.
I guess no one really understands what you are asking here. What are your options? 'Not straight' means bisexual or gay, correct? So you could slowly develop your 'gay' side, because you want to make sure that you don't want to neglect it. :icon_wink I was thrilled when I discovered homosexuality, but in your case it may be 'guilt' that hinders you from accepting your secret desires. I still remember the first kiss I got as a boy from a boy, simply wonderful!
What you are describing - sexual attraction to girls, romantic attraction to guys is known as heteroromantic homosexual. This may or may not be your true orientation - it may be a reflection of the acceptance process. You spent time only allowing yourself to be attracted to men romantically, so you're still having trouble imagining a romantic relationship with a woman.
