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Not confused but questioning.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by LittleLizzy, Apr 19, 2013.

  1. LittleLizzy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Wales, UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I’m 16, I've identified myself as bisexual since I've been around 13/14 but After my first serious-ish relationship with a guy I realised that I'm not really into guys.
    When I speak to my friends about their feelings with their straight relationships I feel like my relationship with the boy was totally different, I had no strong emotional attachment and I wasn't strongly attracted to him sexually, I only started to date him because we had so many common interests and we really had a laugh together, but that was it. When our relationship ended I felt nothing, I was sad but I wasn't reaching for the Ben & Jerry’s.

    I've always had strong feelings for girls, there was one girl who is one of my best friends and we got to a point where it was normal to see us hugging each other constantly, always talking and texting and smiling at each other and even at one point holding hands in school and acting like every other couple minus the kissing and the actual relationship title. It got to a point where I told her I liked her and she said she thought it was really cute, and nothing changed, but when we went out with a group of friends and we asked about if we would kiss or have a relationship with a guy/girl. When it came to her turn I had this feeling in my stomach that maybe she would say she would have a relationship with a girl and I still had a chance, sadly this wasn't the case and later on that night it felt like my world had fallen apart, I eat about a hundred tubs of ice cream and basically I felt horrible.

    I talked to one of my other friends and she asked if I was possibly gay, I had been thinking about this for about a year and I just broke down about everything. She's invited me to a gay pride event in the summer to meet more people who are gay/ lesbian / Everything else. I've always been known as the 'camp' one and I was constantly asked if I was gay and I've always responded no, but now I just feel like I'm lying to myself about it. I've only kissed a girl once and that was only for a dare when I was about 14 but I still remember that as one of the most amazing things of my life and it still makes me smile thinking about it now.

    For the last few years I've never really felt anything towards guys apart from 'he's cute' and whenever there’s a group outing me and the boys of the group always seem to be looking at girls and the girls are looking at other guys. I know I'm not straight but I really don’t know if I'm lesbian or bisexual. Any opinions? :help:
     
  2. Cougar

    Cougar Guest

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    As you are very open-minded please enjoy homosexuality! You won't regret it!

    For me people are (at least) bisexual if I have no specific information about their preferences, so they should at least give homosexuality a change. If a woman complains about men I always recommend trying women, and they always respond: "I am not a lesbian!!" Sadly, they don't dare to explore their sexuality.

    You should not worry about identity labels, I am sure that you will do intuitively what is best for you. :icon_wink
     
    #2 Cougar, Apr 19, 2013
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2013
  3. Eliza

    Eliza Guest

    Your experiences sound very familiar to me. I had a similar friendship like that in high school, and people were constantly asking us if we were a couple and spreading rumors about us.

    Sounds like you want to identify as a lesbian, and that sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

    It's so awesome that you have a supportive friend. Gold medal for her.
     
    #3 Eliza, Apr 19, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 19, 2013