Ok so I started questioning my orientation a few weeks ago. Here's what confuses me. I can notice women that look great, but it's usually not to the point of wanting to date them. Yet I can have casual conversations with them, no problem. I've only two girlfriends and both relationships felt like friendships (good friendships). On the other hand I've started admitting to myself which guys are cute and have actually wondered what it might be like to kiss one. Maybe somebody can offer some perspective. Thanks.
Well... Are you physically / sexually attracted to women? How about to men? Are you emotionally / romantically attracted to women? How about to men? For your physical attractions to men and / or women, is it more of an admiration thing, or are you truly attracted to them? ("Oh, she has big breasts. Big breasts look nice because society and media has told me so.") It doesn't necessarily mean anything at all, if you can talk to women casually. I find it very hard to talk to most guys, in general, and get along with most girls fairly easily, yet I'm very certain that I'm gay.
That's exactly how I feel about men. Many people who identify as gay or lesbian say that they appreciate the opposite sex in aesthetic sense or have had an "exception" or two. It's completely up to you what you decide to call yourself.
I work in an industry that is heavily female and have casual conversations with women of all sorts and ages every day. I can tell when they are very pretty and can compliment them on their appearance with ease. And I have never had even the slightest interest in sex with a woman under any circumstances. I don't find women repulsive, they just cause no reaction in me sexually. I an also lucky enough to live between a military base and a university so at certain times of the year I get to commute past (or otherwise see) some number of young, very in shape guys out running wearing next to nothing And I love every minute of it and love sex with guys Being able to comprehend (And even appreciate) someone's appearance doesn't mean you have any sexual desire for them. Given modern society's obsession with telling us what is and is not 'beautiful' or 'handsome', it's not surprising that most people (regardless of orientation) can describe what elements make up that sort of appearance. At the end of the day, perhaps you should just consider 'going with the flow'. If you have an urge to kiss a guy and/or explore being intimate with a guy to some degree (up to and including 'sex' in one form or another), then why not just do it? If you like it and want to do it more, then fine. If you don't much care for it and don't want to do it again, then fine. If you like both to varying degrees, that's all good too. My 2c worth, Todd
Sexually, If you put a man and a woman in front of me and told me to pick one I might actually pick the guy. In the past, I wouldn't dare look at guys in that way (family would notice, not ready for them to know yet), but since I started looking at them, it's definitely a turn on. Emotionally, I can't help but find nice guys to be more interesting than any of the women I'm friends with. I can't believe it took me so long to type this reply.
Can you truly see yourself in a relationship with a woman down the road, and see yourself happy about it? Or are you not sure? It sounds like you like guys both romantically and sexually, from your answer. I'm just trying to help you see if you can like girls in some sort of way, or not. Only you know the answer... I'm just trying to provoke a response / some thought. It's fine if it took long to reply. These things sometimes aren't blatantly intuitive.
That's quite how I felt a few weeks ago. It is tough to come to the realization that you only admire women as friends and such...But you have to realize that is your brain telling you that you don't have that attraction to women, and you very well like men. You could be bisexual, I recommend taking a few kinsey scale tests to figure yourself out. Also, is your signature from an Aphex Twin song?
Hey, Mr. Cake, do you have some good Kinsey tests you can recommend? I don't really know which ones are good. I've taken a few, and I keep getting bisexual, like Kinsey 3. But I'm damn confused about everything anyway.
Thanks for the suggestion. To answer your question, the words are spoken by Gene Wilder's character in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and stuck with me ever since I first saw the film.
Musician, there is no need to take a 'Kinsey test'. Kinsey himself didn't think much of the scale he used in 'Sexual Behavior in the Human Male'; he knew too much about sexuality to believe that it can be simplified that way. But he wanted to leave the simple straight/gay dichotomy behind him. MusicMaker, you are old enough to enjoy all the fruits that homosexuality has to offer, hurry on! If you lust for women, no problem, you already know how to find them. Kissing a man or a woman is basically the same for me; if I had to pick one of them I would choose the person that fits my taste better.
Yeah good point. I'm totally confused anyway. Now I can't stop thinking of guys and being turned on the way I used to be turned on by women.
Honestly, I don't! I just searched the internet for kinsey scale tests and tried 3 or 4 tests. Try ones that are more than 5 questions, and don't try the ones with the pictures.
