gay sex was disappointing

No.
If you're not sexually attracted to men, you're not gay.
Homosexuality =/= liking anal sex.
Not every gay person likes anal sex, whether it's as a 'bottom' or 'top'.
That doesn't make them any less gay.

 

If you're attracted to guys you're gay.

You may have been expect too much from sex, or you just didn't like bottoming, try topping, or hand job, blow jobs. There's plenty more to sex then just getting poked. Try different thing (but be SAFE) and find what you like.

 

Well then you're still gay and are just not big on anal. I would say try topping at some point lol maybe you'd like that better. It is why there's top, bottom and versatile. Some like myself like both, but other guys prefer only to bottom or only to top.

 

A significant fraction of gay guys seem to either be in your position re anal (can take it or leave it) or actively have no interest in it or even actively dislike it.

If this was your first time bottoming you might try it a bit more (either with the same guy or others) and see if it improves with practice or the skill level of your partner. If it does woo-hoo! If not, then just decide not to bother with it or treat it sort of like giving oral: something that may not feel all that wonderful to you per se but which is nice to do to give your partner pleasure and which is done with something of an understanding that at some point in the proceedings he will be doing something to/for/with you that you really like in reciprocation.

You might also consider investing in a toy r two and trying out some solitary exploration (let's you set your own pace and not worry about anyone else) to see what you think of anal play and prostate stimulation in general. You might find you like it when it's just you, or what specific acts or techniques work best for you that you can then use to provide direction to a partner so that you do enjoy anal. Or you may just confirm that anal doesn't rock your world. Or, as others have said, topping might be more your thing. Or not.

There's certainly no union rule that says you must love anal

Hope this helps,

Todd

 

I think sexuality is more about who we are sexually attracted to rather than what we do in bed. Are you attracted to this guy? Do you find his face and or body attractive? Maybe you will enjoy anal with another guy, maybe one you're emotionally close to or maybe you never will. Just being close to a guy I find attractive, not even touching, is enough to tell me that I'm gay.

I'm curious how you two met since it's something I'd like to do and am always interested in how guys accomplish what has eluded me for so long. Stay safe

 

First time sex usually is disappointing. It doesn't necessarily mean you're not gay, not a bottom, or weren't made to enjoy sex, just that... various factors contributed to a so-so experience. Just keep trying and you'll eventually have an enjoyable time sometime, with someone.

 

You just might need to find a better top, because not all are good. It varies with the man just like his size. There are lots of factors involved ie; size, experence, mood, love, condoms, lube type and amount, place, forplay, position, etc. For the maximum enjoyment the conditions must be right or at least some of them. Like others have said, you may be a top or just a oral type of guy. June

 

What are you not comfortable with, if you don't mind my asking?

Todd

 

It sounds like inexperence jitters to me. I have seen a lot of friends over the years who felt like you in the beginning of dating other people. Just get out there and date and you will see it is no big deal. If you choke up and cling on to the first guy who offers, you will chase him away which will make things worse or get with the wrong type. Just think of him as a new friend, be yourself (this is real important you do not put up a false front because guys can smell a phony), and have fun. I have found guys like most a good conversation and play dates. Play does not mean sex here. I mean like a fair, picnic in a park followed by a hike or bike ride, or even a date in the mall. Good luck! June

 

^^Absolutely!

Don't make it mean so much -- have fun. If you're thinking that he'll be your forever boyfriend or something like that -- then there are so many expectations and headgames going on. Enjoy the moment, be there to have a fun time yourself as much as pleasuring him. Sometimes its more about you than him, really. If you get what you want from sex and he does too -- bingo, that's magic.

And take your time and have lots of foreplay (anal play, fingering, prostate massage, etc.), lots. And lots of lube...

And June is so right -- have a fun time together - sitting and having coffee, laughing together, sharing who you are and learning about him -- that's what a date is all about. The sex is dessert.