so i lived my childhood trying to play the role of my body, male, and i pretty much grew up in the streets. i always found it hard to cry...but now i been down a lot i want to cry all the time and i find myself holding it back just out of habit. before i lost my job i would just have moments where i started crying at work cuz i was so torn. idk im sad as fuck im tired of being so lonely. i want to go somewhere i can be comfortable. my best friend andrew tried to take me to a lgbt bar but its not like some official thing its just where they hangout supposedly and i got to the bar and just couldnt go in. like im scared of public even tho i do go out, im scared of the id check too.. my friends are supportive and say nice things. to quote andrew "how long you been doing this cuz i expected a train wreck to be honest and now im just shocked the only thing i see wrong is your clutch doesnt match" lol idk sad day like the only thing that would brighten my day is love and idk thats part of my problem i dont want to say im co-dependant i been alone over a year but i just want that love and that connection with someone amazing, deep, caring so bad
Dont worry hunnie I love you I know how you feel im a closeted transgender mtf at least your brave enough to tell your friends and I can relate as men we are expected to not cry and be tough but its ok to cry I cry all the time I mean come on I cried during air bud lol. It helps to get it out sometimes maybe you should goto that bar when they are closed and stand there untill your comfortable with the thought of it and try again when they are open. Sorry I dont know if im much help but I just wanted you to know your not alone so you dont have to be lonely. And you know your friends love you and so do I =) ♡♥♡♥ ---------- Post added 20th Apr 2013 at 11:35 AM ---------- Oh ps if you need someone to chat with im here =)
I'm so sorry hun. :icon_sad: Just remember that you are not alone in this. All of us damned to the wrong bodies are walking down that long and lonely road of life beside you. I can't offer you much except an ear to listen, my tears in empathy, and a (*hug*). Just let it all out hun. We are all here for you.
