I'm just very frustrated at the moment because despite confidently enough that I'm gay, I keep having these thoughts like 'but maybe I will fall in love with a woman' or 'if you tried, you could be attracted to women' and it's just frustrating and scary and I just want to be done with the doubts already. So, do you think these are part of the 'bargaining' phase that we're supposed to be going through during the coming out to ourselves process? Or are these something else? Thanks...
yup definitely. i went through this phase. Even though i finally admitted to being gay, i'm still going through this phase. At first it was I'm not gay. Then is was, ok, maybe i'm bi. Then i finally admitted i was gay. Now i find myself trying thinking about finding a girl that can change this. Truth is, you can't change being gay. I know this but still try and bargain with myself. Eventually i quit all bargaining and finally be happy with being gay. It's a process that really has no time limit.
Yes, I think those are very much bargaining phrases. I was in that phase right up until I came out to my mom. Then any doubts I had seemed to cease. It's a hard thing to deal with when those doubts come up. Just try reminding yourself that it is what it is and no matter how hard you try, you can't change it. You may think you can at first, but you'll be mighty unhappy in the long run.
Thanks guys... it helps to know this is normal. And that it will pass sooner or later. Hopefully sooner.
