Can anyone relate?

There is romantic / emotional attraction, and then there is sexual / physical attraction. These two components need not overlap for you, and for many others, as well. There are people everywhere, and on this forum, who can relate to your somewhat-conflicting attractions to people.

You sound like you are turned on by both guys and girls, but are only attracted romantically to girls, and not to guys. As a 'label', you would be called a heteroromantic bisexual (Romantic attraction to girls, and sexual attraction to guys and girls, basically, in your case).

For reference, most people, it seems, are heteroromantic heterosexuals. As another example, I'm a homoromantic homosexual. For convenience's sake, I just say that I'm gay.

It doesn't need to mean anything if you find guys more sexually attractive than girls. It may be a problem, though, if you fantasize about guys when you are actually having sex with a girl in a relationship (Like, for example, your girlfriend). Unfortunately, I don't know how to help you get over this specifically.

EDIT: Looking at some of your older posts, you mention that you were repulsed by the idea of having sex with a guy, or something to that effect. In that light, perhaps your romantic and sexual attractions to guys will settle down more as time passes. I find it unlikely, though, that you will develop a lack of attraction to girls both romantically and sexually, if it's been a constant ever since you've been growing up.

 

You are a typical heterosexual who experiences with his own body what homosexual attraction is. You are terrified because you enjoyed your comfortable heterosexual identity. You can't admit more than physical attraction for the moment, but that means nothing. The attraction is so strong that you call it a "serious sexual orientation crisis" and post on a gay website! :icon_wink

Don't be afraid that men attract you, that is totally normal. If you don't suppress that attraction you know more about sexuality than 90 percent of the population! :icon_wink

Fine, where is the problem? Why do you write that? Do you want to say that you want relationships only with girls ...

... but SEX with men? I think so.

Imagine a gourmet who learns that there is new country on the culinary map. He likes the food of many countries, but now he is curious. Then he takes the opportunity to taste some dishes in the embassy of this country, and he really loves them! He doesn't want to do without all the other dishes he already likes, but he can't imagine not to eat these thrilling dishes again. And there is so much more he couldn't even try!

If you need a label, choose BISEXUAL. If your fascination with men fades away, call yourself straight.

Even if you are bisexual there is no obligation to have sex with men. You can fully concentrate on your girlfriend. But if you are bisexual you don't consider it as an obligation to have sex with men. :icon_wink

That is the defence of your homophobic 'immune system'! And it is high time, because:

Voilà!

Of course he doesn't encourage you to try new flavors, but I do. Go for it!

 

Yeah, I think you're kind of over thinking this. After reading this and your first post I think what your experiencing is just some curiosity. If you definitely are repulsed by the idea of sex with another male, then maybe your attraction to them is more an admiration of them or attracted to features of theirs that you like or would like?

In my experience which is a bit similar to yours but with a different outcome, I too at first was kind turned off by the idea of sex with another male but still attracted to them and thought it was attraction/admiration of their features or aspiring to be like them. Which in your case might be true and that you might be over thinking this all.

Does that sound like what it might be?

 

So if I got this correctly, thinking about having sex with a guy is fine but it is when you start visualizing it that it makes you anxious/uneasy? Also what you mentioned to Cougar, do you feel like you are trying to deny this potential interest in men? I think though since you have said you enjoyed sex with a girl and have fallen deeply in love with a girl that even if you do try something with a guy that you'll still like girls so to speak. It's not like you were faking those feelings or in denial at the time.

So far it sort of sounds like you are a heteroromantic bisexual like Luthan said, but it also sounds like you are possibly bisexual and just uncomfortable with the idea of sex with men.

 

Well that's the thing, just because you discovering an attraction to another gender, doesn't mean you'll lose it with the one you are currently attracted to. Also you shouldn't be afraid that you'll be losing your girlfriend, you obviously are in love with her both sexually and romantically.

I also understand where you're coming from with the deep emotional connection and sex connection. Just remember that even though your sexuality might change doesn't mean you have to experiment or anything, if you are content with your current relationship that's awesome no need to wreck that.

 

I think these threads clearly demonstrate that we as a country and society provide very little, often inaccurate information on sexual orientation. We see things so black and white. "You're gay or you're straight." Then there's this whole thing that "sexual orientation is permanent from birth to death," without any possible shifts over time. Really, we would see less confusion and questioning if everyone in society was given the proper information and education about the complexities of sexual orientation. It is not so simple. It is perfectly normal to experience both hetero and homo feelings in varying degrees or to experiment and try things out. We make such huge deals over this stuff. Really, sexual preferences are no different than your taste for certain foods or music. Go with what makes you happy, as long as no one else is getting hurt.