I've honestly been thinking about this for a few days straight and only focused on this. I guess that is a bad thing but I'm eager to know. I know I have all the time in the world and I should just let my feelings guide me but I really can't stop thinking about it and its making me have trouble sleeping...anyway for pretty much all my life I thought I was straight. When I was younger at around the age of 10-14 where possible people start questioning there sexuality and thinking about the opposite sex I was one of them who didn't think about those things at all. I was still thinking about toys and stuff, and through the first half of high school I was just enjoying my life as a student. I wasn't really interested in dating and boys at all until I started liking this guy now my ex boyfriend. The last half of high school I was dating him for 2 and a half years. I was in love at the point so I had no questions about my sexuality at all. Basically throughout my whole adolescence and teens I had no reason to question my sexuality, and due to the fact that I was in love with my ex back then I thought I was straight anyways. I was oblivious to the fact that I could be bisexual. Are there people out there who don't even question if they are bisexual till there 20's and find out they are bisexual? I only started to question it because I developed a crush of this girl I've known for a while. I feel like in the back of my head I've always felt attracted to her but it just got stronger so I didn't even really realize I was crushing on her. Shes pretty open and not scared to give her opinion and in control. I think shes pretty too. Normally I could identify if I was just having a girl crush because I only want what she has but I notice I don't want what she has I actually want her to myself like how a I would like a guy. My attraction grew more suddenly because I notice she had a boyfriend and I got jealous. I feel like this is more than a girl crush but at the same time I don't want her "parts". I've read a few threads similar to mind about wanting someone sexually but when it comes to sex its a turn off because of there vagina. I started considering myself a bi-romantic hetrosexual but if I partially wanted her sexually than isn't that just contradicting. I know I for sure can picture myself being bi-romance but when it comes to sexually I'm only half way there. What is up with the partial attraction? I mean I want her but it doesn't feel like it is just admiring her beauty. I'm part bisexual or what? I'm so confused with that part. I know that I don't need a label but I'm so confused about what I am that I feel like if I can grasp anything that is labeled as concrete I might be able to dig up what label I actually am? I'm just rambling now...I really am confused. Any thoughts?
Yep! There are people who don't question their sexual orientation until middle age or later. If you read some of the stories here you'll find that it's pretty common. I can't tell you if you're straight or bisexual, but I do have a bisexual friend who primarily dates men and has never dated women. She does have fairly intense friendships with other women and sleeps over at their houses, cuddles with them, stuff like that, when she's between boyfriends. She seems to feel pretty comfortable with the bisexual label. I don't know if that helps, but your story reminded me of her.
One question - do you only seem to get crushes on people you know well? Or do you ever feel attracted to relative strangers? If you're only attracted to people you know well, you could be demisexual. A demisexual can still be straight, gay or bi, but it would be harder to figure out because the total number of people they've felt attracted to is fewer.
I have a similar problem. But on the other side of the fence since Im male. I like girls, fallen in love with them, immensly enjoyed sex with them. Thou I am a much bigger fan of love making, casual sex is just not so good as when emotions are involved. My problems have started a month or two ago when out of nowhere i found a guy attractive and felt some sort of pull towards him which freaked me out. I was stoned at a time. Since then I have developed OCD about this issue. From questioning my sexuality to gender(bisexuality/bigender). Thing is also that I dont penis attractive, but what worries me that I can notice the attractiveness of a guy. It fluctuates, sometimes its like Ok, he is a good looking guy and nothing else. But other times its like THAT guy is hot, but not I would like to fuck him. Confusing part is that I really tried imagining doing stuff with guys and I cant really get an erection of it. Also I think if I involved in something with a guy I would be more of a bottom, because the guys that I find hot are really manly and I dont really have a desire to fuck a guy.. But then again I dont know really anymore if I all this is real or not and to which extent...
Yes that happens a lot actually. You think things work one way, and then you discover it's a bit more complicated than that.
it's common. i'm 21 and i didn't have an interest in girls until about a year ago. guys just DON'T get it, i connect so much better with females. soooo what you're going through is completely normal.
I get crushes on people I don't know to well, the girl crush I have right now is an example. In reality she is simply an acquaintance, I don't really find people I know attracted as of yet, I feel freaked out even more of the thought that I know them. I have a closeted bisexual friend but she doesn't know that I know. She confessed to my best friend of her feelings toward her. The story triggered the fact that by knowing them I realize more that she is a girl and these feelings seem so wrong. I feel that labeling myself as a bi-romantic doesn't seem right because the attraction doesn't seem to be only romantic if I am attracted to complete strangers... ---------- Post added 26th Apr 2013 at 04:31 AM ---------- I'm glad to know that my attraction isn't the only one that fluctuates. At some points I start thinking that girls are really hot and that is all I can imagine. Then I start telling myself that I'm straight and that attraction isn't really there. When I start thinking about guys after that again I feel like it is something foreign to me. Sometimes the thought of girls gross me out and sometimes I just wish I had a girl friend. I'm really confused as to why it fluctuates so much though. I feel like your experience is really similar to mine, I really don't think that thinking of a vagina will turn me on. I start thinking about the times when I was a virgin and never really thought anything about penis, the thought grossed me out most of the time. The body is what I was attracted to, I feel like I feel this way also with women also. ---------- Post added 26th Apr 2013 at 04:37 AM ---------- Yes, this story does seem relatable for me. I feel like if I had the chance I might just have intense relationships with women as your friend does. I don't think I would feel comfortable with the label though, the thought seems appealing. ---------- Post added 26th Apr 2013 at 04:43 AM ---------- Thank you, now that I've found this site I now realize it is a lot more common than I thought it was. I just always usually hear that most people either knew they were bisexual/gay/lesbian since they were young or around 12-16 years of age. I feel me who has just questioned it now at such an older age than most is their looking for something to question. Which I feel is not the case if I'm having these crushes but who am I to say when I'm the one in confusion.
It is true that girls just get it so much better but I can't feel a emotional connection with a girl for some reason. Well I mean I can but on a friendship level only. Maybe it is because I'm not exposed enough to many girl and girl relationships? I am exposed to a lot of gay relationships way more than lesbian couples. I can picture it a lot more clearly, I feel like this could be one of the reasons why I'm not feeling it because I can't picture it. I'm really just pulling out any ideas I have left.
Hi Pinky, I'm in the same boat as you. I feel a much closer connection with guys than I do with girls. Around girls, I get uncomfortable. But that has been a thing of mine since I was little. On the other hand though, I get fantasies about women and they often get me off more. I just feel more comfortable around guys to the point of thinking I'd really like a relationship with one. My motto as a kid was, "Guys for intimate/close friendships, women for sex". But now, being with my girlfriend, I wonder if that was a code for "I'm really gay". Either that, or my girlfriend has turned me gay? I only get gay fantasies around her, more or less. She's away for 3 days, and I feel like I can explore my friendships with guys, and feel sexually aroused by women again. But I just can't handle sexual relationships with women. I have no idea, and it really bugs me a lot. Sorry I couldn't be more help, I just found your story one I could relate to.
