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Female in my early 30s and still confused about my sexuality :/

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by konfjusd, Apr 26, 2013.

  1. konfjusd

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    I'm in the early 30s and I'm really confused about my sexual orientation.
    When I was a teen, at school, I remember, 1 of my class mates who was really a nice girl, once she had an accident and she couldn't write her homework /classwork. I took the opportunity to stay more close to her, by offering my help in writing her up notes, etc.
    Later on, when I was a bit older, I started to go out with my friends. At that time I used to flirt a lot with guys, and have had different dates, with different guys. In the meantime, while watching tv and appears an attractive girl/lady, I used to keep on thinking and fantasising about her.
    Growing up more, once I was with my friends and my boyfriend, in a nightclub and got drunk, and I really liked the way a lesbian started to flirt with me.
    A couple of months ago, I was single, and one evening, I went out with a couple of female friends of mine, and one of them, who is really attractive for me, started dancing with me in a way, I can't take her off my mind. She really managed to 'melt me'. My Goodness!!! And after this event, I've made it a point that at least I had to experience the intimate kiss with a girl. I managed, and I liked it!
    Today, I'm in a relationship with a guy, and I really love him and respect him, and vice versa. But I still keep on having these fantasies and these desires about girls. Therefore, I came up to a conclusion that I'm either a lesbian or a bi, since I don't want to ruin my relationship with my guy.
     
  2. J Snow

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    It certainly sounds like you are sexually and/or romantically attracted to women. You seem to already understand that yourself though. Is your question in regards to what you should do in respect to your relationship?
     
  3. wrhla

    wrhla Guest

    Yeah, I agree. I think you already know the answer. Maybe you just don't know that you know.

    How has sex with men been for you? Pure ecstasy? Fireworks? Or just sort of pleasurable? It certainly sounds as though you found making out with a woman more exciting than your nice, respectable boyfriend.

    Have a glass of wine, lie down on your bed or a nice comfy spot and imagine what ecstasy would be for you. Where do your mind and body take you. See where you end up after a few minutes.

    And don't think it's odd not having figured out by your early thirties. Stick around here for awhile and see how many of us took way longer than that.

    And think your gonna be glad you came.
     
  4. Femmeme

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    I'm in my late 30s and just working it out. There are plenty of us!
    I don't think just asking yourself if you've enjoyed sex with guys captures the full picture. I had some pretty great sex with men, but it wasn't something that came naturally for me I had to teach myself how to enjoy it. For me, what tipped the scale from bi to lesbian was the realization that I had never once looked at a man (no matter how hot) and thought "Wow I want to touch/kiss/grope/**** him!" Never. I have however always had a craving to touch caress and hold women.
     
  5. wrhla

    wrhla Guest

    Yes, point taken, You're right Femmeme. I have had great sex with women too over the years, especially my wife. But I think that for the most part, I felt somewhere deep inside that I would find it more satisfying to be in bed with man. Now I'm simply tired of trying to be someone I'm not.
     
    #5 wrhla, Apr 26, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 26, 2013
  6. puppylove

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    im in my 30s and i just came out to a friend of mine. ive been married and have kids, i just have a strong attraction to women and im sick of keeping it surpressed.