I had only just recently learned there was such a thing as hetero/homo/bi romantic and I feel like it really relates to me because like as a teenager... even being almost 19 I have no interest or desire for sex. And really... both male and female anatomy looks displeasing to me. When questioning my sexuality to my mom (who still believes it's just a phase) she kept asking me, "Do you really imagine yourself having sex with a girl?" in which I just replied, "No. I don't picture myself having sex with anyone." And I never thought of myself as an asexual before because I thought that meant not being attracted to males or females at all, while I am attracted to both, mainly girls, but no in a sexual way. I feel kinda dumb and ignorant not knowing about this before... but at the same time I feel like I'm getting closer to knowing who I am. Also, to those who are homo/bi romantic... Is it easier just telling people you're bi/gay? I feel like a lot of people, (like me lol) do not know what homoromantic or biromantic is... if I happen to be biromantic would it just be easier to say I'm bi?
Hey, I just learned about the -romantic terms too. That was one of the main things that led me here and made me feel comfortable enough to post. I've always felt heteroromantic, so I hid my homosexuality from everyone for a long time. I've only recently decided I could be biromantic. I'm similar in that I generally don't care about sex, but in my case, I'm open to the idea if it works out that way. As for what it's easier to tell people, that's a great question that I'd also like to know the answer to. I hope someone else can answer. I've had in-depth conversations with the close friends I've talked to, so I never really came up with a way to summarize.
hello lexcat, welcome to the forum. i'm glad that you feel that you are getting closer to better understanding yourself-- i definitely know how awesome that feels. i'm afraid that i don't have much in the way of a comment re: your thoughts about being asexual. only you can really come to a conclusion one way or another regarding that, but i will say that i personally can identify with what you've said about having never thought of yourself as asexual because you feel you are attracted to people, just not sexually. i think that that also played a big part in why it took me so long to identify as asexual. romantic orientation is something that is still relatively new and i don't think it was really spoken about at all back when i was 17/18 and first looking into asexuality. i'm glad that you have learned about it sooner than i did and that it has helped you. as for your question about ease of coming out.... i cannot speak from personal experience as i am hardly 'out of the closet' at all (yet!), but i will say this: i have a feeling (and obviously at this point it is still just a feeling so take it as worth a grain of salt) that people will have a much easier time understanding romantic orientations than asexuality. i say this because while the general public does not yet know of any other type(s) of orientations than sexual orientations, if you speak to someone about how love can exist completely outside of/apart from sex and how strong emotions/attachments can be formed to people without any sexual intent involved whatsoever, i think that the majority of the time the person you are talking to will be able to identify with that on some level or another and that basically describes what romantic orientations describe. on the other hand, if you try to tell someone that you have never in your life felt sexually attracted to someone, THAT is more likely to either blow their mind or make them think that you're either just kidding or confused. so to answer your question in a kind of roundabout way, simply saying that you are bisexual, homosexual or whatever may get you understood with fewer words, but there will also be a lot of misunderstanding and assumptions that come along with that that in the end may offset the larger number of words and potentially more time needed in order to explain a romantic orientation. coming out as asexual, on the other hand, is a separate matter, however... personally, i've very proud of who i am, including the fact that i'm a panromantic asexual, and i will tell any and everyone who wants to know. beating around the bush about it, to me, is a waste of time and just furthers people's ignorance about asexuality and romantic orientations. i want to dispel the ignorance and bigotry surrounding asexuality/romantic orientations and educate/inform people so that in the future others won't have to work so hard at coming out. but i must point out that this is simply how i feel about these things. in the end, everyone has to do what is right for them. anyway, if you have any questions about asexuality or anything, please feel free to ask.
