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I am completely lost....gay...Or bi???

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by jd16, Apr 30, 2013.

  1. jd16

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    Sexual Orientation:
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    So as of now I'm 16 year old guy. My whole life I've grown up labeling myself as straight, even had a girlfriend or two. I did what all young guys do watched porn but over time I began to find myself only watching the guys, pretty soon I just dismissed it as a phase...(this was probably around 13-14) As I got older the attraction never went away, In fact I'd say it got worse I started watching gay porn. During this whole time I still thought I liked girls up untill the last month I'd never even considered I was gay. I grew up in a semi-religious family untill I was 8 when my family just stopped going, although the "fact" that gay was a sin stuck with me. In the last few years I've been able to become alot more open minded to the whole idea of gay and then just about a week ago I was COMPLETELY convinced I was gay, untill this girl started hitting on me and I sorta have feelings towards her now...the problem is I find women pretty and I can be attracted to their looks but boobs vaginas? They do nothing for me... I feel like I could be gay but to me the idea of an actual relationship with a man just seems weird...but anything sexual with a girl is just eckk. So bascially now I've been losing sleep and stressing about what my sexuality is- I can't stand all this flip flopping back and forth...(Sometimes after I Jack/off I feel completely disgusted with myself and feel not attracted to either sex)
    Anyways any thoughts or help?
    Thanks in advance for your time!
     
  2. Panda Sparkle

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    Hi sorry if I can't help.
    So from what I understand you are attracted to males and want them sexually, you also like the appearance of females but do not want them in a physical manner. To be honest I somewhat understand your confusion I have only realised that I was not straight last year and I am trying to figure out how I feel about the opposite sex. You should not feel guilty about who you like, whomever that turns out to be.
     
  3. sillyolme

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    Hmmm, not trying to use any labels or anything, but maybe Hetero-romantic Homosexual. You find want a relationship with a girl, but not a guy: Hetero-romantic. You want sex with a guy but not a girl: Homosexual.

    I understand your frustration on not managing to find the right box. It's like at school, you don't know what friendship group to go with (Not really, but you get the picture) I have gone through so many different labels, it is ridiculous. I'm not even totally sure if my current label suits me, cause I have never actually had any experience with a girl (I am definitly attracted to them though) Its all very confusing.

    I'd say, don't try and put labels on yourself until you are definitely sure. It causes stress takes up a lot of thoughts (I'm meant to be revising for exams in a few weeks.... Yeah, that isn't working)

    Oh, and welcome to EC :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 30th Apr 2013 at 11:55 AM ----------

    Sorry if that doesn't help at all :/
     
  4. FemCasanova

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    Yeah, you are really young, at your age I only thought I liked kissing girls when I was drunk. I thought I preferred men, or, more correctly, I simply assumed I liked men and never gave it a second thought. It wasn`t until one failed relationship with a guy, and a huge crush on my best friend at the time, that I finally began realizing that something was up. I was 21 at the time when I began questioning in all earnest, and it took a year or so before I realized that sex with men was completely and utterly a waste of time. I kept trying, you know, because it was hard to find lesbians to date.

    Now at the age of 26 I am completely at ease with my sexuality, and wouldn`t touch a guy sexually no matter how lonely and single I was.

    So try to calm down a little, some people know straight of the bat, some of us need a little time. Which in one way is great, we can explore and try things out until we figure it out.

    It`s going to be okay, so just take your time and don`t feel like you have to have all the answers. Some of us are also a bit more fluid than others, and sexuality doesn`t always fit in a box. That`s just the way it is for a lot of people!

    *hugs*
     
  5. Counting Stars

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    Oh gosh we should be friends. That's so similar! I too, had thought I'm straight when I'm young (11-13) because I fallen in love with the girl next class. But when I start middle school, I found out I began to look at guys (there are many nude guys on the street/road because I'm living in a hot tropical country). Then throughout my middle and high school life, I've fallen in love with 3 guys, and managed to only get interested and attracted to one girl.
    You can go see my other post to read my problem with the guy I'm in love right now... :icon_bigg

    But even worse, I myself is religious and a Christian. And when the bible says homosexual is a sin, I've been struggling so hard. But God is a loving and understanding God. He knows what our problems are and he will understand and forgive us.

    So lets face it together! =) support u!:icon_wink
     
  6. sillyolme

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    Okay, guys there is a whole retaliation on the whole Christianity vs. homosexuality argument on the front page (Also, point I would like to make is, why would God make you have these attractions if he felt it was completly wrong. One of my friends says that God could have just been going with the times.. Also, if you look at that recount of God smiting that city because of homosexuals, there was a whole load of other sinliness as well (My version of the bible seems to mainly look at the homosexuality...) Eh... its also a sin to lust over someone, so really all sexuality is wrong in God's eyes. I guess its just homosexuality was one (and still is really) one of the big issues

    Also, some sins you can't help. I am NOT saying it is a sin, but you can't really live a sinless life. It is near to impossible.

    Lying is a sin
    Murder is a sin
    Stealing something is a sin
    Homosexuality is (apparently) a sin
    Being jealous of your neighbours donkey is a sin
    Lusting over ANYONE is a sin
    Swearing is a sin

    (this could be quite contraversial, but someone once told me that all sins are as bad as each other, its just society which makes things look worse)

    If we don't sin we end up like Flanders

    "Whoever has lived a sinless life, cast the first stone"
    I see no one throwing stones. (Besides didnt Jesus die for our sins?? Why are we worrying?)

    Preach over. Guess I'm not as agnostic as I thought I was :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
    #6 sillyolme, Apr 30, 2013
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2013