Honestly, I'm losing my mind. So for 6 freaking years while I was being in denial about being gay, I could fantasize about guys way too easily and ever since I started acknowledging it, everything is so damn confusing. Like, I see a good looking guy in the street and I'd think 'fantasize about him' and then I'd get scared and think I'm not really gay. So then I'd start looking at good looking girls and think 'see, she looks good! you like girls'. I just can't seem to stop worrying, I almost threw up because of it. And it's just... how can I deny something for 6 years and then after finally beginning to accept it have so many doubts? And to top it off, for the past hour I started telling myself i'm asexual and that's why I don't think of having sex with girls.. and then of course I start thinking that I don't seem to think about having sex with guys as much as others. And while in denial, I remember mostly fantasizing about everything else other than sex, but I'm thinking that was because I thought it hurts and that it was sinful and that 'but I'm not gay, I don't want to have sex with guys, i only want to kiss them'. But I'm definitely attracted to guys and I don't really think I'm asexual and I don't want to be either. I'm just... exhausted. Does anyone have any thoughts or tips?
Wow....are we related? The biggest tip I could give you is to relax. I know this is my 'solution' for a lot of things, but in my mind when I take a step back and look at the problem in the grand scope of things, it ends up not being as big as I thought. Plus, you have to think about you not scociety. You can't please everyone no matter how hard you try, but you have to put your self first. Oh and stop staring at girls....they have cooties lol jk
Really, you experience this as well? Is it normal? Will it ever pass? Should I not go insane then? Yeah, I'm trying to relax, it's not working too well at the moment. I put a rubber band around my wrist and pull it back and let go whenever I'm thinking about any of these... I'm not sure if it'll help long term, but I'll take a few days or even hours of peace.
Yeah man, it's normal and it will pass. Oh and I don't think your asexual, becase you seem to have a type/know what you want.
Hope you don't hurt your wrist! There is our self-image of gay, I like men etc., and then there's real life...you go out there and gosh, there are a lot of unattractive guys out there, what could I possibly see in them...ugh! Then you look at girls, why, they're cute, pretty, sweet and oh-so-nice to ogle, but you know...deep down...you may have sex with a girl, you might even enjoy it, a little...if you're thinking about a guy while you're doing it...maybe Then there will be this one guy, there'll be something about him, his looks, his personality, perhaps he's outgoing and confident, perhaps he's a bit shy but intellectual looking, something about him that'll kind of turn you on! It's not about dating guys, it's about dating him...and to find this person, you need to really look around and it will take a while. In the meantime, think about the other gay guys around you and think about what makes you attractive to them!
Thanks. Yeah, it's kinda red and I feel it may fall off anytime... but I'm thinking it also kind of works, so I'm going to keep at it for just a little longer. Thanks for the reply and for putting it more rationally... I'm an expert at over analyzing everything and I get quite worked up about things... I never, in my wildest dreams thought I'd have to get through such a vast repertoire of fears and doubts once I left the denial stage...
