If I find sexual intercourse not important and not really interesting, and to be truthful I masturbate only to stop being horny; However, I have to admit that when I am high on marijuana, I like sex a lot more then normally, but when I am drunk, I am not horny and I am not interested in sex at all. So what does it mean, am I asexual or sexual? I am asking this question because other guys find sex and masturbation like it is some kind of heaven or something like this.
I have a friend who claims to be asexual, because he also finds sex to be unimportant. He likes to cuddle and give back rubs (which is great for me about the back rubs). His 'problem' is that he's like me, VERY picky. He doesn't get easily attracted to people by their looks but get's very attached to those he gets to know emotionally. He too mentioned being horny when drinking, but not for any particular person. I think you're just a gay that's less interested in sex, doesn't make you asexual I don't think. I don't think my friend is either, just picky haha.
Actually, I have read a post (I don't remember where); However, the person claim that he is asexual because he finds sexual intercourse boring and not important, but the person gets horny like a normal person. So I am not sure what is the true definition of asexuality right now.
There are different definitions. By my definition, you'd be grey-asexual - someone who feels some sexual feelings, but less than usual and/or in fewer situations than usual (demisexual is a type of grey-asexual, but not the only kind). Some others have a broader definition of asexual, where they say that asexual means lack of sexual attraction but not necessarily a lack of sexual drive. So some asexuals will lack both (like me) while others will have a sex drive which they manage on their own without any desire to involve someone else in the activity. Personally, I wouldn't count your sexual feelings while drunk or high into determining your sexuality.
this is just my personal opinion, but i think that trying to determine whether you are any shade of asexual vs sexual from a lack of interest in sex is highly problematic. for one, there are many reasons why you may not be very interested in sex and your disinterest may not be related to your sexuality at all. the "official" definition of asexuality is lacking/not experiencing sexual attraction to anyone, regardless of sex or gender. if you really want to figure out whether or not you are asexual (or gray-asexual or demisexual) you should focus on whether you experience sexual attraction or not and if so, when? as for horniness (ie. having an active libido/sex drive), i see that as a completely separate matter from sexual attraction and thus i do not see it as related to asexuality at all. one can have an urge to have sex which does not involve anyone else (ie. the urge came about without involvement from anyone else and/or one does not feel drawn to anyone else to relieve such an urge). in that respect, i see such an urge as being no different from an urge to eat or use the bathroom, ie. it isn't related to sexual attraction at all. asexuals are completely capable of having an active sex drive while still never experiencing sexual attraction, and the lack of sexual attraction is what makes them asexual. whether one masturbates or not is irrelevant. how you feel when in an altered state of consciousness (ie. when high or drunk) is completely irrelevant to everything, imho. it would be wrong to try to evaluate yourself when chemicals or anything else is heavily effecting you.
