Hi, I am 28 and I have been facing the question about my orientation since my early twenties. It all started after my brother and a friend brought this question within the same month. I have since been obsessively trying to figure it out, to no result of course. Right now I am in a relationship with a girl and I feel guilty that I am uncertain about my orientation. I don't want to be lying to her and lead her on. I don't want to make her suffer. From what I can recall all the crushes I had growing up we're towards girls, but it took me until I got to college to actually be with a girl. It is hard for me to understand myself, I have sexual relations with women and I achieved arousal without any problems. I have not tried with a man because I am scared of taking that step. During college I decided to try and use gay porn to figure myself out, as heterosexual and lesbian porn do give me an erection. Gay porn has seldomly made me aroused and that sends me into a depressive stated. I am scared of being gay and I watch gay porn on a daily basis to "confirm" that I am straight. But being straiight cannot just be about who you have sex with... And I can say that I think men to be more beautiful. By that I mean that the male body impresses me more. I need help, I stress out daily and it only gets worse when I am around men and I start trying to figure out of I'm gay. Writing this makes me feel a lot better. I have never been able to talk this with anyone and clearly I have not done a much on my own. But I am really tired of this anxiety ruining my life, it dampens all the experiences I have with my male friends. I don't play football (soccer) as much as I like because I can't deal with it. I don't even watch it as much either, seeing you good looking males in the peak of their form only sends me into the questioning mode. How can I be straight and think men to be more beautiful. Please help me because this is only getting more confusing.
Orientation?? You mean you want to apply one of the popular sexual-identity labels to you? Choose the widest label available and try out everything that catches your eye. Why do you feel guilty – because you didn't make progress? You are mistaken. Never heard of bisexuality? If you enjoy sex with a women that doesn't mean that you don't enjoy other forms of sex. Perhaps you want to say: “Please encourage me to experiment with men, so that I can communicate the result to my girlfriend”? :icon_wink You are disappointed that gay porn doesn't always excite you because you secretly believe that you are bisexual? So you feel every day that you are not straight? And need a daily dose of gay porn to reassure you that you are straight? So you know very well that your 'porn testing' is a waste of time. Nobody says that you are straight. :icon_wink The most beautiful boys can be more beautiful than the most beautiful girls because they have less body fat, a more regular fat distribution and and more defined arms and legs etc. If men want to look like women they can do so by taking estrogen. But they don't want to look like women, and the female beauty ideal of young men is often a very boyish girl with big breasts. Not because they admire gigantic breasts, they simply represent the femininity. On the surface your post claims that you want to hear that you are straight. But between the lines you say that you want to check out men. You need encouragement because you are SO SCARED of taking the first steps to homosexuality. Look, men and women have both two legs and two arms, and you hardly know whether you kiss the lips of a man or a women. Go to places where uncomplicated sex is available and delve into male bodies. If you like them you can call yourself BISEXUAL and tell your girlfriend that you have got a brand new label. Be courageous and do whatever YOU WANT TO DO, no matter what it is! And don't waste more time, gerontophilia isn't that popular!
Other than general unease and watching gay porn what makes you think you are gay? Watching porn means little especially if you say it does not arouse you. I think the porn if anything is making you worse and cutting it out may be a good idea. Its like Ali G's Bruno said "I can admire a mans penis in the shower but the moment I put it in my mouth some sort of line has been crossed" a great piece of subtle satire but a valid message I think, the straightest bloke in the world still knows what a good looking guy looks like just as I as a gay bloke know what a good looking girl looks like. It does not mean I want to jump into bed with them.
Yeah, I don't quite get it either. You sure don't seem gay to me. If gay porn doesn't ring your bell, if you're not having recurring homosexual fantasies, why would you think you might be gay? Or are you having homosexual fantasies that arouse you? Bi? Sure, maybe. But at this point, you just seem sort of insecure or prone to self-doubt or something.
