hi.... so, I've never really posted anything like this... ever. basically, I know that I've liked guys for a long time. About 20% of my friends (probably more than I realize) know this, and they're totally cool with it and stuff. But, I've really put a lot of thought into it and I'm beginning to think maybe I was wrong about being bi (oh yeah, up until recently I've considered myself bi) I know for a fact that I find myself physically and emotionally attracted to guys, and many times have been emotionally attracted to girls. The thing that is bugging me is that I dont know if I'm physically attracted to girls. I've talked to a few of my LGBT friends and they all seemed to have pretty definite ideas about who they are. So that didn't really help me. I'm starting to think that maybe liking girls emotionally has just been me trying to feel better about the fact that I tend to fall for straight guys, but I'm not sure. I also don't know if its common for gay guys to be attracted to women emotionally and if that does in fact mean that im bi or not, So, long story short, I'm kind of concerned about being gay cuz I was so sure that I was bi and I have one of those crazy conservative fathers who would not approve in any way shape or form. So if you guys have any tips or such to help me figure this all out, that would be super cool. Thanks! (and sorry about grammar, punctuation, and all of that, I'm normally better than this)
A lot of men who say 'emotionally girls, sexually boys' end up identifying as gay later on. This might not be true of you, but your entire post focuses on guys, and you seem more-or-less sure of where you stand (definitely attracted to guys, not so sure about girls), and are looking for assurance. If girls do nothing for you sexually, while guys do, you could be a biromantic homosexual, assuming those emotional attractions were real. Stick around!
You have two options: 1)Continue as bi, and eventually get into a relationship with either a man or a woman. Of course, while being certain that it is also a sexual relationship with either a man or a woman. 2) Alternatively, consider that you are not sexually attracted to women (albeit romantically so), and accept that you are possibly gay (or something much closer to gay than you may feel comfortable acknowledging). What you need to do when deciding to accept either option is to imagine that your father would be fine with either of these. You need to set aside your father's reaction, that is a separate issue. Once you have decided which option applies to you, you will then need to learn how to deal with your father. Seek advice here and in LGBT groups. Just remember that your integrity and self-respect are worth it.
Thank you guys for your advice. It really means a lot to me considering I didn't even know that was a thing, this was especially helpful. This all has cleared up my mind a good deal and I feel pretty good about it. thanks again!
I think you should do what/who you want to do. I wouldn't get hung up on the label because it might change. It might change on a regular basis even. I would go with whatever makes you comfortable moment to moment. Let your fantasies take shape in your head and go with whatever your inclination is at any given time. You might like men more than women. And if you aren't sexually attracted to women ever, then it might not make sense to be in a relationship with a girl who wanted to have sex with you. Although I am sure there is enough variation in the human race that you might end up in a relationship with a girl (maybe a girl that is romantically/but not physically attracted to men?) if that is truly a possibility for you. And I feel like if you feel sexually attracted to a girl, you shouldn't ignore that either. I just don't think you should let your inability to put a label on your sexuality stand in the way of sexual/romantic experience. And if you are gay, you are gay. There's nothing wrong with being gay versus bi. If you are on the fringes, whatever, that's valid, too. If you wanted to make out with girls sometimes, I am sure that could happen. I wouldn't be offended if a gay guy wanted to make out with me. That would be totally welcome. I think your sexual orientation is the most common one--being predominantly attracted to one sex, but still interested in the other one. I wish I could tell you that all of the feelings on romance and hookups in your life are going to be transcendentally clear, but I think that is rare for people. But one thing I am sure of is that you can and will be happy. You will find people to love in your life, even if your father never fully understands. I wish I was a guy, so I could maybe give you better assurance. But yeah, if you find a label you feel comfortable with, be proud of it, and you should tell your dad... as long as it is not going to lead to a greater sacrifice than the one you are already making. Then I think you could just play along. (I know that sounds kind of **** up--but there are some people that will just never understand. And I am truly sorry if this is the case with your father. My father will never understand me, and I just had to quit trying to expect him to love me and respect me the way I deserve, because I am not a christian... never mind the fact that I have the social conscience of Jesus himself. I don't really talk to him now, but I still have my mom, and every other member of my family.) I'm really sorry about your dad though. ---------- Post added 5th May 2013 at 08:36 PM ---------- The important thing** is that you DO live the way you want to. Even if you are trying to hide your sexuality from your dad, don't try to present yourself as straight to your dad to the point that you are not comfortable with how you are living.
