I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I mentioned this just a little in "Chit Chat"... I am bisexual, and married, and I have mostly just been in relationships with men... The thing is, when I'm out with my husband, I feel like everyone thinks that I am straight, and the weird thing is I hate that feeling. I am not straight, I am bi. I would even prefer people to think of me as lesbian, so I made some rainbow items to show it off. But is this normal? My stepmom and I got into a discussion about this earlier and she thought that it's wrong that I feel this way because I AM half straight. But I tried asking her how she would feel if everywhere she went, people thought she was gay, and she said she wouldn't like it but that's not the same as my situation. She says I need to find a middle ground in being comfortable with who I am and who I'm with. I have always been comfortable with who I am, and I have no idea why this has been bothering me so much lately... maybe because I am newly-married. I don't know. Anyway my question is, is this normal? Am I alone?
Yeah, it's something of a joke between bisexuals, how we're assumed 'straight' when in a relationship with the opposite sex, and 'gay' when in a relationship with the same sex. It's just one of those unfortunate realities of living in a heteronormative society, and until we gain visibility and acceptance, it'll probably continue. Just like gays and lesbians, we'll also have to come out many times to friends, families, and strangers, since sexuality isn't something you can physically *see* like height, weight, or ethnicity.
I think its fairly normal. Your sexual orientation is a part of your identity, and if you take pride in it I can understand feeling a bit robbed by not having it recognized. Perhaps you could try wearing a rainbow bracelet or something that might tip people off.
I understand your frustration. Everyone assumes I am straight, and I rarely (read never) correct them unless they ask straight out. It didn't used to bother me so much, until I realized that it completely shut me off from women I found attractive since I dont hit on women I dont know for sure are also into women. Now since I let people assume so long I am straight it is difficult to tell them I am bi. I told my mom once, and she acted like I told her the sky was pink and said simply, "no, you're not". Drives me crazy!
I know how you feel. I hate the thought of people assuming I'm more 'normal' than I am. I wish autism was visible on a person's face like Down Syndrome is.
