I'm at my wits' end.

Alright, as long as I can remember I have identified as straight. When I was first going through puberty I had a sexual encounter with a girl as an experimentation thing (think of an almost later stage I'll show you mine and you'll show me yours). This experimentation stopped after about 2 years. Throughout high school I still fully considered myself as straight. I had 3 relationships both of which I had constant butterflies in my stomach. I wondered to myself whether she liked me and if she really wanted to be with me etc. Something weird happened in my senior year of high school. I asked a girl out to lunch that I had been having butterflies in my stomach about for 2 weeks or so and I thought she may have been interested in me. Unfortunately she wasn't and she politely rejected me. What was strange is after this a thought popped in my head, "What happens if I'm gay?" (or something along those lines).

Let's diverge off the main topic for a few seconds though. I'm pretty sure I have OCD. I bite the skin around my fingers compulsively, and I tap my foot up and down when I'm thinking (the foot is a lot more controllable than the finger biting). Before going to bed I check all the doors and the garage to make sure if they're locked. Sometimes after doing a full round I have to do another check. There are many other annoying habits on top of these few. I don't want to go to a doctor about this just in case it hurts my future job prospects (I hope to go into finance and eventually go into management).

Back on topic. I've been almost constantly worrying about this since then. First thing I wake up, "Am I gay?" last thought before I go to bed, "Am I gay?" I can't even have a moments peace anymore. I then noticed while watching Game of Thrones I wasn't even getting aroused by the naked women, but at the same time I wasn't getting aroused by the gay sex. This further perpetuated this thought cycle for some reason though. I tried watching gay sex but I was for the most part kind of put off. I tried masturbating to it but I stopped after a minute because it just didn't feel right at all. This caused my mind to get into a cycle of, "You're gay! You watched gay porn! You're just homophobic!" At this point I just want these to stop, I can't even get the thoughts to stop if I tell myself I'm gay. I don't understand if this is internalized homophobia/fear of being gay or HOCD (which I found online when searching OCD). Can you guys help me out? Thanks.

 

Can I get some more input on whether this sounds more like something related to OCD vs internal homophobia? I would greatly appreciate it.

EDIT: On top of this in the past week it has become difficult to even hold a normal conversation with my male friends at school. I constantly keep getting thoughts about how kissing, sexual acts with them would be and testing if I'm getting aroused by thinking about them.