To put it mildly, I am well past the time in my life when I could cope with being male, or even loosely see a future for myself as one. My heart truly aches on a daily basis for the fact that I am not female, and my male persona feels entirely like a hollow shell. I know with 100% confidence that I am a MTF transgender individual, and the anxiety is getting unbearable. You would think I'm ripe for coming out, but there's a psychological hurdle I can't get past. I want to transition with every fiber of my being, to wake up each day knowing my physical sex is finally aligned with my internal gender. That's an inner peace that I desperately want. That said, I cannot bring myself to look a single loved one in the eyes and say it, let alone recite the words, face to face, with every one of my many, many family members, whether they're supportive or not. Is this irrational? :bang:
I think you might change your mind if and when you come to your family. And that is also if they are supportive. Now I'm not saying you're me and I know everyone is different; but I really didn't think I was ever going to come out to my family. When I did though I just spewed everything out, including the thought of transitioning one day. So you never know. I'd say when you feel like the time is right, say it. If the reaction goes good, go from there. You don't have to tell them you want a sex change right then and there; but if they ask I would answer truthfully. If they don't ask, give it some time and maybe you'll feel better telling them about transitioning.
I'm at 8 months into hormone therapy and I still haven't managed to tell my parents, mostly because based on how they reacted when I got a boy friend, I can be about 95% certain that it will result in disaster, so I'm trying to get myself more financially independent first. Transitioning is a difficult road. For me, its been filled with nearly unbearable amounts of anxiety. However, at the same time, there is an inner peace. I know I'm being a strong independent person and doing what I believe in regardless of what others think about it. It comes with a lot of self respect. No matter how your family reacts, they can't take that away from you without your permission. No matter what happens, or what you choose to do, always love yourself (*hug*)
