Hi! (sorry for my weak english, it isnt my mother tongue..) At first: I never had any sexual experience in my life yet. Now my Problem: I really dont know what I should think about myself anymore... I'm so confused!!! At one day I think "I think im bi, girls are so cool and hot" and at the other day I think "no, this is just a phase, you dont REALLY love girls" Here the facts i know about me: - I always thought woman were cool and sexy, but only this woman in movies or so (for example Lara Croft, Buffy, This woman from the resident evil movies or this Black-haired by ~Grodis on deviantART, or this http://ladiesofthered.tumblr.com/image/47832798194 but i just found these pics in the net, so i dont know any of them personally, just think they are hot), not real life girls. I thought the girls in books are cool (e.g. Ginny Weasley from Harry pOtter books) and always prefered them over the boys, but thats just so, bc I could indentify myself more with them? - I've never been in a relationship/had sex with a guy, but I think penisses are just gross and disgustig... But on the other hand I think the muscles of a boy is really sexy... but I hate boys like this: http://t2.ftcdn.net/jpg/00/37/70/45/400_F_37704583_eHuRZierR9RIxCSQ7bgctdy0nFqRqOgL.jpgthats way too much muscles in my opinion. - I had a few crushes on boys in the last years, but never on a girl - I think too touch a woman/girls body is sooo nice and arousing... I like the idea of this soft skin and boobs. But maybe its just curiosity? - I could imagine to be in a realationship with a girl, in a romantic way, but everytime i imagine it there's a voice in my head which say that this isnt the standart society role, and that its strange to be togheter with a girl. I just want that this voice shut up!!! - I cant masturbate to lesbian porn. I mean it makes me hot, but I cant reach an orgasm. Thats only possible with straight porn/Sex scenes. I like the possessive treatment of a guy to a woman. I like this "oh im so horny and i want to fuck you" stuff from a guy and I cant imagine this of a girls mouth. Is that sick? - Im not very girlie like, and as a child i was kinda little bit hyperactive, always jumped around and crawling at the ground, jumping ect. Even when i was about 11 or 12! (i dont know if this has much to do with my sexuality, but maybe it does...) And the maybe most important fact: -I always thought gays/lesbians ect. are so cool and awesome. In the last few days i researched a looot about his topic and they are just so cool! Maybe its just that i WANT to be like them, and all my feelings towards woman are just made of "peer persure"? I just want to have clearity to my feelings... I hate this up and down thing.... PLEASE HELP ME! bye, Jacki
Well, considering the fact that I am also new, here is my advice. Try to identify if you like girls or not. If you find yourself liking girls, then you probably like girls. Quite simple.you don't have to be a lesbian to like girls, you could just be moderately bisexual. Just try to think. Are you old enough that you can masturbate. If so, see which one turns you on the most, and see which ones you can get off too. Sorry about incompetence.
Hi, Jackie, and welcome to EC! I think that while it`s still all just theory, it can be hard to know for sure whether you are bisexual, bi-romantic, or what not. Sexuality can be really complicated. Me for example, consider myself a lesbian, but the truth is I am probably more a bi-romantic homosexual. I can get small crushes on fictive male characters, and I can think that they`re handsome. In real life however, when it actually comes down to having sex with a man, it doesn`t work for me at all! I just don`t enjoy sex with a member of the male species, and I don`t ever fall for one romantically either. It`s more that when it`s a fictive male on the screen, then you get them all powdered up and no butt hair, or other male attributes in your face, lol. Then it`s easier to just fall for the personality. So, lesbian is an easier term to relate to because in real life that`s the box that fits me the most. I am not a big fan of boxes or labels though, because people often feels rushed into fitting one, when in reality figuring out your sexuality can take a long time, as well as a few tries and a little experimenting. Until a person has actually experienced sex with either gender, it can be hard to know. This doesn`t go for everyone though, a lot of people seem to know exactly what box they fit from the age of 7 or less, but not all of us. Some of us need a bit more time. I was 21 when I began figuring out my sexuality and I still tried men a couple times after that. You could be bisexual, or just bi-curious. It`s really impossible to tell, only you can figure that out, and the best way to do it is by trying it out. Flirt a little, get some experience, kiss and fool around a bit, and you`ll figure out what`s right for you. It`s better to try and know for sure, than to just sit and wonder, in my opinion. And don`t take your reaction to the various porn as the answer, because if porn was always a given of our sexuality, then I would be a gay man, lol! I like gay porn better than straight porn, which is odd since in real life I hate sex with men. I don`t like the hairy man bits in real life either, and it would certainly ruin any on screen man crush I had if I saw him naked. But, it`s all complicated. So, give it a little time and try things out. That`s the only way you can know for sure if you really are bisexual or not. Because a lot of women can find other women pretty, it doesn`t automatically make you bisexual. However, if the thought of having sex with another woman turns you on, or if you feel that you would like to touch a girl that you see or sit by, then that indicates that you might be. Lol, I am glad you think lesbians are awesome, but I am not sure if being a fan of lesbians can actually make you bisexual. Maybe it can make you want to be, but being a lesbian can be tough, and I have never turned straight just because I wanted to be. So, that you find girls pretty and hot, not sure if that could happen just due to peer pressure.. I get that living in limbo is a bit hard, but unfortunately neither the net or over-thinking the subject can help you get the clarity you need. It may help if you can get out of that "this is not social norm" issue, so that you could easier picture yourself falling for and being with a girl sexually. Try picturing the girl genderless first, and focus on the personality. What kind of personality is attractive to you? Then, once you get comfortable imagining being with this person, add a couple of boobs, and see if it makes a difference. But in the meantime, get out there. Find out if there are any lesbian clubs in your area, or local organizations for LGBT where you can get to know new people. Worst case scenario you find out that you aren`t bisexual, but helping out with local LGBT issues is still a worthy thing to do. Then you can get to know new people, try out flirting a bit with women, and possible get out of the "this is not the norm" mindset that could be holding you back! The best of luck, and hugs
