Hey guys lately I have been a little confused. I have questioned my sexuality in the past: whether or not I am a bisexual male or what I am just going through a phase. I am pretty attracted males at times, sexually, and it just makes me feel bad because I feel like I shouldn't. I know I am attracted to girls and I've had some pretty insane crushes on girls. But, there is this guy at my high school whom I like alot, as a friend, I think... The weird thing is that I find myself always thinking about him and I am always seeking his company. It is weird and I have never felt like this before. I have never actually classified myself as bisexual or gay, but I almost have a feeling I have a crush on this guy because I am always thinking about him... Not in a sexual manner but I just admire him alot and I think he is a really interesting person. Sometimes he irritates me, but I have found that this mainly happens when he doesn't hang out with me at school. We've become pretty good friends, though. But I have been wondering if what I am feeling is some type of crush.. If it is, I am afraid because of what my family, mainly my Dad, and friends would think. Although there is a LGBT club at my school and my school does promote everyone expressing his or her own individuality, I don't feel that my peers would accept me for who I am. Does anyone have any thoughts on what this might mean? In all of your own personal opinions, what do you all think of this? What type of vibe does this set off? Thanks
I am not an expert, but i hope i help. Dude, you are bisexual. You shouldn't be confused or frustrated at yourself. You feeling bad is only the results of society's effect on your mental self. There is no 'Should not'. You are yourself, and you must be yourself. And this high school guy, it seems you have fallen in love bro! Missing him, longing his company, admiration, it all adds up, ne? Just be yourself, and dont have anyone tell you you're crazy or sumat. Hope i Helped. Good Luck!!
Sounds like you have a squish! What a squish is, that you want to be close friends with them and just to be around them, but not sexually. They don't really have a lot to do with your sexual orientation per se, seen as they are completely platonic. Personally, I think I might have a squish, but I can't really tell if it is just a squish or it is a crush. The line between them is very fine, sometimes a squish can turn into a crush and vice versa.
True, you do not have to be sexually attracted to them in general! A lot of straight people have crushes on people of the same gender whether its a public figure, a work friend, associate, or even a family member. That is normal, so if you are worried, which I know your not as you seem to be wondering more what is happening, do not be or even question yourself. Many people have celebrity crushes, even married people for example, have crushes sometimes on people of the spotlight like a man who loves his wife, has a family and all, will admire someone like Madonna or Britney Spears, or a woman may love Tom Cruise and think about his body all the time, but has a healthy relationship with her spouse. That does not mean they are cheating on their other or having a sexual orientation with either. I am bad with writing bear with me here, but let it just flow out and go with it. My experience tells me to never think sex even if you are attracted to that person, as an encounter that is physical can change your relationship with that other person in one way or more. That is why the old fashioned people always lecture to wait to have sex and I have found in the past that being sexually attractive to a person and struggling with the challenge of fighting hormones and not acting on urges makes the relationship more meaningful. We worry about labels too much as a society. We need not to and just do what is right and long as we do not step over the line. In fact some of us have sex with others just because we are trained in our minds that we must, or because I am attracted to a person of the same biological gender that means I am automatically gay and have to have sex. I am not against sex at all as it is a beautiful thing, but we need to know when! Sometimes friendship with someone is a lot better than if it were intemant as that act or deep sharing is for someone special that you know it is when it happens. Basically it is healthy to want to be friends with anyone and even to a point where you dwell in thought of.
A couple of points. I think most of us once thought we were "just going through a phase." That may be so, but so far that phase has lasted my entire life. I would agree that you can admire people of the same sex, but I can't agree with Mandy. It sounds to me like there's more going on here. Why have you questioned you sexuality in the past? Have you ever thought about men when you masturbated? Liked a guy so much you maybe wanted to kiss him? The wrong way to go about this is to decide in advance that you just don't want to be bi or even gay. I'd say that most of the adults who post at this site, started out not wanting to be gay—for all the reasons you mention. We thought we'd lose our friends, that our parents or siblings would be disappointed with us, that people would talk about us behind our backs, that we couldn't be the people we wanted to be in life unless we continued down the accepted path. Is there a school psychologist you could talk to? Could you tell your parents that you're feeling very anxious and depressed and want to see a therapist? Is there a friend or relative you could at least talk to about all of this? Bear in mind that you're not the only kid in school who's unsure about his or her sexuality. Out of a group of several friends I had at college, it turned out later that three of us had been in the closet. Likewise at my small high school: out of a class of 40, three of us (that I know of) turned out to be gay. One guy I was really afraid of telling also turned out to be gay. So don't worry about the fallout. It won't be even a fraction as bad as you think. If you discover you're bi or gay and come out to people, it will be a one day event. Friends will talk about it for a few days and then stop caring. Seriously. You sound like you're already on the right course. You can keep posting here as you see how things develop.
